Legacy

In the vernacular of today, legacy has come to be equated with money and the bequest of little empires to heirs. What might surprise you is that the word originally was used to denote an envoy or ambassador.

For those tying their hopes and dreams to material possessions, good luck with that. We’re physical, temporal beings stuck to a spinning orb in the vastness of the universe and history bears record that empires come and go.

So, what is a legacy — and how do we create one?

The answer to the what and how comes immediately after the why.

Passion At The Core

Why do you do what you do?

Short, silly question — yet, an important one. To make it personal for each of us, maybe, this is better phraseology, “What is the passion at the core of everything I do?”

Wrap your arms around the answer and, then, we’re ready to begin creating a legacy.

Two x Seven

Builders know about a board size of 2″ x 6″ and the secret to our success in building a legacy is found in the 2 x 7. Two sentences of seven words, each.

All We Do Begins With A Thought.

Start With Nothing and Build Something Special.

LEGACY

Each letter is one step forward to building something special.

Largess has a reference to the same secondary definition as legacy, “gift, something acquired without compensation.” However, the primary descriptor of largess, “liberality in bestowing gifts; extremely liberal and generous of spirit.”

Education is the key which opens many doors, for ourselves and others. We don’t know what we don’t know — until we open our minds to the vastness of the universe. We learn by doing and the fun is in the doing. So, let’s have fun learning.

Goodness minus an “o” and the “ness” at the end directs our attention to the Source. We are simply the conduits to deliver those heavenly gifts to those in our sphere of influence. And, nobody else can deliver with our individual and unique style.

Action is the prerequisite for results leading to success. Similar to faith without works is stagnation, thoughts without actions are daydreams. A universal principle: people in motion will stay in motion until acted upon by an outside force.

Compassion flows from the Light side of the two forces influencing our thoughts and actions. Darkness is extinguished by a single flicker of Light. For those without hope, a kind word can bring cheer and a loving embrace will end their tears.

Youthfulness is a choice. We are encouraged to be childlike – not childish. The irresponsible are burdens to society. However, we seek to see the world through innocent eyes. We choose to believe in the magic of Fascination and Curiosity.

Changing Lives

Legacy is much more than the genealogy of lineage or the accumulation of stuff. Far beyond the constraints of a single Family, we enjoy the vast opportunity to change lives for the better around the whole wide world.

We do that by making sure we have much to give. And, we do that by building a Legacy. By implementing the LEGACY steps, we will grow and expand our knowledge and resources.

Rather than waiting for someone to tip over someday, we can immediately go to work in focusing on the why, what, and how to serve others. That’s where we experience the real joys — highs and lows — of life.

Beginning & End

As we have discovered, legacy is not something we get — it is the manifestation of what we give. It begins with a thought and ends at the construct of something very specialLOVE.

Love, the greatest gift, is a chosen, purposeful effort — often done in the face of fear — to nurture our own growth and the growth of others.

I wish you well in your creations — and I am available to enlighten, empower, and encourage. I will always be your envoy or ambassador, representing the One who provides for us to enjoy heaven on earth.

Legacy Coach: Kim Foard, CPA

Fix Thoughts

How important is it for us to find a way to fix Thoughts?

There is a battle raging for our souls and it is life-altering to acknowledge that our thoughts are the only thing within our control.

We cannot change the political climate, celebrity morals, Mother Nature, Father Time — or, even, your neighbor’s yapping dog.

Yet, we can be the Captain of Destiny — as we create a future of our choice.

All We Do Begins With A Thought

Reverse Genius

Genius is taking the complex and making it simple — which, then, means Stupidity is taking the simple and making it complex.

There are moments, as we stare in disbelief at the absurd, when we ask, “What the flaming heck were they thinking?!”

The problem is just that, “They probably weren’t thinking.” And, that, my friends, is why we find ourselves in the Danger Zone. The majority of civilization in any society, at any time, are not thinking. They are, simply, going with the flow — of what propagandists want them to say and do.

On the other hand, the real geniuses have always been considered crazy — for going where angels fear to tread. Because they push against what the majority consider normal (generally, the lowest common denominator), the innovators of the world happily bear the ridicule of the masses.

Fix Your Thoughts

Now, you’re thinking, “Did he slip a cog. What’s up with this notion of happily bear ridicule?!”

Happy are the people who understand this secret.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

WTF Thoughts - Anyway

If goodness is out of vogue, happy people don’t care. What they do CARE about is truth, honor, righteousness, purity, love, and admiration for the 100% accuracy of Karma delivering what is earned.

By thinking about excellence and praiseworthy topics, happy people create their own destiny. With words, it is impossible to capture this principle, which is more magical than logical.

YOU must experience it through your actions.

All We Do Begins With A Thought

Paradoxical Commandments

Some things are better explained by the experts. In keeping with the concept Less Is More, I’ll direct you to Dr. Kent M. Keith.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Love Your Enemies

Yes, when reminded to do this, I tend to balk, too. However, recently, I read the Rest of the Story to realize, “We’re not alone in our daily effort to fix — what is broken.”

When someone with the Power to heal the deformed is condemned by the local yokels, then, we find ourselves in extraordinarily great company.

He looked around at them one by one and then said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored! At this, His enemies were wild with rage and began to discuss what to do with him.

Short version of the story is they killed Him.

But before they did, our Hero had this to say, “To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”

WTF Thoughts - Think Differently

That is the way to fix Thoughts.

Do we change the character of our enemies, the haters, the vulgar, or the abusers? Simple answer: No.

Why, then, are we encouraged to Do It?

Because it is tonic for our Thoughts.

Into The Unknown

We don’t know what we don’t know. Or, in other words, how do we navigate a course never before traveled? Simple answer: Faith.

In leaving the shores of the old behind, we embrace the horizons of new beginnings. We sail forth by changing the way we think.

Whatever the mind can Conceive and Believe, it can Achieve.

Will we make “mistakes” that will be harshly judged by the naysayers as a representation of our foolishness? Of course! That is the exciting element of this great adventure into the unknown — we will grow, while the rest of the world stagnates in their comfortable rut (grave with the ends kicked out).

What is LOVE, anyway?

This definition works for me.

The greatest gift is a chosen, purposeful effort — often done in the face of fear — to nurture our own growth and the growth of others.

Love can also be measured by seven attributes.

LOVE
Is patient,
Is kind,
Rejoices with the truth,
Always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres.

As you might have noticed, Love is a verb — framed as a gift and delivered by action. Which means we must grow in stature, resources, and wisdom to have something to offer others.

The more we learn, the more we know;
The more we know, the more we sow;
The more we sow, the more we grow.

Isn’t life grand?!

Opportunity To Create

Designed for greatness, engineered for success, and motivated by goodness as Captains of Destiny, we are courageously heading into uncharted waters to serve the multitudes.

Simply, we have been offered the opportunity, by a Creator, to create.

I know you’ve had the experience of a HUG.

On occasion, you have served another person — who, with their eyes, expressed a newfound Hope, Understanding, and Gratitude (HUG) of life, once again.

YOU did that for them.

That is the way to fix Thoughts!

Relentless Pursuit

Begin creating something of value and watch what happens. The dark forces of the Universe and people of that disposition will gather their armies in a relentless pursuit to attack YOU — and your creation.

Why?

Because it’s much easier to destroy than to build. Those individuals who won’t build anything special of their own don’t want you to, either.

The War of Art

One of the best explanations for this phenomenon is offered by author Steven Pressfield in his book The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle.

He describes how the attacks will come from others — as well as from ourselves. Unless we’re afflicted with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, generally, we feel unworthy to create.

Our thoughts, usually, are, “What do I have to offer to others?”

Then, about the time, we discover our passionate purpose and offer gifts of great value — a new creation never before thought, or done — we will hear the naysayers find fault. Our insecurities take control and we shrink back into our comfortable shell — that comfortable rut (grave with the ends kicked out) and routine of everyday drudgery.

Freedom To Be

As long as we allow our lives to be dictated by the whims of society, we will be living just like everyone else. We will fit in with the masses, or be beaten down into servitude — by those with an agenda for our lives and resources.

Or — we can choose to be free – to be – a creative force in the Universe.

The funny thing about freedom is that it is not free. We must decide who, or what, we will serve. There are really, only, two choices: Good, or Evil; Light, or Darkness; Creation, or Destruction.

Once we have discovered the purpose for our existence, the fun begins.

We learn by doing and the fun is in the doing;
— so, let’s have fun learning.

You might ask, “Learn what?”

My response is, “Everything!”

The more we learn, the more we know;
The more we know, the more we sow;
The more we sow, the more we grow.

Isn’t life grand?!

Stand Guard

Because the attacks on our creations will always come from outside, we must be vigilant to protect the mind, heart, body, and soul.

All we do begins with a thought.

The greatest threat to ourselves and what we choose to create will be the influences we let into our mind. It is impossible to thwart the assault — a thought will penetrate our consciousness. Our response will determine if it has a fertile bed to sprout, mature, and become malignant.

At that moment of consciousness, we can choose to refocus on our purpose — and replace evil with good. The difference is a world of our creation — or, not. We can enjoy Heaven on Earth.

Individual Responsibility

The framers of the United States Declaration of Independence clearly understood the importance of freedom and individual responsibility — to choose and, then, be accountable for the consequences.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

There is no guarantee, or definition, of happiness in that statement.

Each of us — individually — are free to determine what happiness is.

My hope is that YOU will engage with a relentless pursuit — to build something special for YOU and your Family.

Performance Realms

In an ordered Universe, these four — in this order — would be the performance realms: Goodness, Thought, Action, and Feelings.

Goodness would fuel our Thoughts, which motivate us to Action, resulting in warm fuzzy Feelings.

However, we live in a time with slogans similar to, “If it feels good, do it.

Reverse Engineering

So, we begin this Story upside, down.

Genius is taking the complex and making it simple — which, then, means Stupidity is taking the simple and making it complex. Let me illustrate the silliness of this hampster-wheel existence.

If we being with feelings, the analogy is of a person on the beach, who discovers a small rowboat. They’re in the mood for sun-bathing and the calming effects of water motion — so, they give the boat a push into the ocean, hop in, lay down, and float away on the waves.

Next, let’s picture another individual as a fitness guru. They know the action of their muscles can power that rowboat. So, they search about for a set of oars, before launching. They row furiously to work those arm and leg muscles — yet, we find them rowing in circles, for hours at a time.

Now, here comes someone to that same little rowboat with a map and a plan. They have put thought into their upcoming voyage. In addition to oars, they have brought the appropriate provisions for the trip. They set their compass for a destination of their choice and set sail.

Finally, we have an individual who boldly strides into the theatre of our mind exercises, with goodness in mind. In other words, they have a purpose when approaching the little boat on the beach. As a result, they have brought an Evinrude outboard motor — and off they go.

Begin With The End In Mind

Then, this challenge comes from the clueless, “What end?!”

And… that’s the point of this presentation, “We need a source of goodness to establish a purpose — that’s so dang exciting and challenging — we are inspired to go all-in and give all.”

The complexity of this challenge can be simplified into three words.

Why
How
What

Why are you thinking about doing something? Does it complement your purpose in life? Will it provide happiness and joy? (People)

How will you accomplish your goal? Are you able to make the sacrifices necessary to let go of the old habits and develop new ways? (Process)

What will be the benefit to you and others in your sphere of influence? Is this legacy adequate for your mark on the world? (Results)

Back To The Story

Whatever became of the individuals we left on the boat?

For a while, the feelings person enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the motion of the waves. In time, they dozed off to sleep — and, then, awakened to the blackness of night, tossed to and fro by the hand of fate.

Our action Jackson figure sure enough built a few more muscles, for his own admiration. Because, after all, he was alone in that boat with his oars and paddling like a riverboat gambler — going nowhere fast.

Since all we do begins with a thought, that individual was at least headed to a specific destination they had chosen. Might be an adrenalin rush to get there — yet, once there, boredom is apt to set in.

Designed for greatness, engineered for success, and motivated by goodness our Captain of Destiny is courageously headed into uncharted waters to serve the multitudes.

From The Top, Down

There is an order to the Universe and it is this simple.

Spiritual
Mental
Physical
Emotional

Regardless of belief, we are not the center of the Universe. Contrary to the modus operandi of the narcissist, there is a higher power — and Karma is deadly accurate in the delivery of what is earned.

All we do begins with a thought — and we have the freewill to choose what influences our thinking. Just like a radio dial, we can select the media flowing into our minds — good, or evil.

Yes, actions speak much louder than words. After sharing our intent with talk, we must make the walk — to deliver for the benefit of others. As we perform, The CARE Credential guides our conduct.

Guaranteed we will, then, experience natural highs better than any illegal street drugs. There are no side effects, crashes, or withdrawal symptoms. And — the beauty is — we can reach these euphoric states at any time.

The Secret

Undeniably, there are two competing, unseen, forces in our society. Just like the concept of gravity, words are useless to describe the intangible — yet, the effects are very tangible.

To keep things simple we will acknowledge these two influential sources as — Good and Evil. The wavelengths of each are there for us to tune into.

Those of an older generation will remember a time when we were lucky to have three TV channels — maybe, one good and two with snow (white flickers on an otherwise black-and-white picture). Naturally, the clear black-and-white channel was watched the most.

Between the forces of Good and Evil, there is not a third choice. There is no maybe to this spectrum of choice. As analogies, a skydiver is either in the airplane – or, out; a woman is either pregnant – or, not; and we either believe – or don’t.

If we choose Good over Evil, we become conduits of goodness for the treasures from above to flow through us for the benefit of those below.

It’s as simple as that.

Thoughts

All We Do Begins With A Thought

The thoughts that got us into our present situation will not be the thoughts that get us out of it. And — I’m talking about good situations and bad situations.

If all is well in our world, it’s easy to become complacent. Or, in simpler language, we find ourselves in a rut — the definition of which is a grave with the ends kicked out. So, we need to enhance our thoughts to move beyond where we are — to where our passion is pointing.

If all is not well in our world, then, it’s obvious to the whole world — except maybe ourselves — that we’ve engaged in some stinkin’ thinkin’ somewhere in the recent past. So, we need to change our thoughts to move out of the ditch we find ourselves, up to a solid footing and foundation, upon which to Build Something — Special.

Heredity

We come into this world hard-wired in certain aspects of our worldview. Some babies seem to be, just naturally, happy — others need a little more attention to their self-inflicted dramas.

As a result, I believe our minds come pre-tuned to certain wavelengths — or, channels if you will. Just like in the olden-days when AM radios had a dial for a tuner, slowly, we can move the dial to find a better channel to influence our thoughts.

As a hero of mine quite often said, “For the same reason we shower every morning, our minds need a daily dose of motivational thoughts.”

Environment

We are affected by our surroundings and the people in them. Without any thoughts, whatsoever, old beliefs and habits move us through the day. A lot of individuals are on autopilot — they’re not thinking about anything. As a result, Thought Influencers can have their way in the lives of the zombies.

In addition to the 24/7 propaganda from television and social media channels, friends are part of the list of our chosen Thought Influencers. Unconsciously (to us), they can tear us down — or, build us up.

If our life has become cluttered and chaotic, there is a solution — we must be ruthless in taking out the trash.

Big Idea

Change nothing — Nothing changes

There are two ways to change our thoughts:
• By do-it-yourself (DIY) Reading.
• By asking for compassionate Coaching.

The school of hard knocks is a very effective institution for higher learning. And — it’s true — we can reinvent the wheel every time we want to learn about a new method of transportation for our lives.

On the other hand, why DIY when someone else has, already, whacked their way through the thicket? They can suggest safer routes for YOU.

Click right Here — to schedule an appointment with the Best Coach. 🙂

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

Seeds of Opportunity

When adversity, failure, and heartache are part of my day, the first reaction is not, “Oh, great! What a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow.”

Yet, the definition of opportunity is:

When the situation is right for you to do something you’re interested in doing, you have the opportunity to do it. The word comes from the Latin phrase, ob portum veniens “coming toward a port” which refers to a favorable wind blowing ships into the harbor. Think of an opportunity as something a good wind blew your way.

When problems raise their ugly, fire-breathing, dragon heads, I’d much rather gather up the black balloons, invite some whiners, crawl off into a cave to lick my wounds, and throw a grand ‘Pity Party’ — all for me.

Timeless Principles

Recently, however, I fumbled into an old audiobook download in my Audible library, by Napoleon Hill, of Think and Grow Rich fame. When I use ‘old‘ as an adjective, it’s because the season of his major thoughts and famous books was from the late 1920’s through the late 1930’s.

Although, in keeping with the principle of, “There’s nothing new under the sun,” I’ll mention that the concepts presented by Napoleon Hill are timeless. Read through his biography and notice how many times he, in the eyes of the bystander ‘failed.’ Yet, he — like Thomas Edison — simply, believed he had found one more way that doesn’t work and had discovered a stepping stone to future success.

All of the great Thinkers share this one noble premise, “Success is a State of Mind.”

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

Two Very Different Worldviews

I know you’ve heard the story about the two boys on Christmas morning. One boy is taken to the barn by his Dad and surprised with a pony. The young fellow is upset — because, he wanted a motorcycle. The other boy, when the stable door is opened, is greeted by a large pile of sh!t. Excitedly, he jumps right in and announces to his Dad, “Somewhere in this large pile of manure must be a big horse!”

Or, in the words of Napoleon Hill,

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

Odds are good our young entrepreneur didn’t find a horse in the dung heap. Yet, his Dad probably commended him for his attitude and effort. And, then, introduced him to a steed beyond the boy’s imagination.

All We Do Begins With A Thought

When we’re confronted by a Problem, can we immediately turn our minds from thinking, “Oh, darn!” — to believing there is a hidden Opportunity?

If we’re struggling a little, we can listen to this encouragement.

Regardless of what you think about Garth Brooks — or, his lifestyle choices — there is undeniably a resonance with the lyrics of that song for each of us.

There have been times in each of our lives when we thought we knew best. Other times, when we asked, “Why me Lord?” And, many times when we endured the laughter of the judgemental enjoying the pain of our mistakes.

One Man’s Mistake Is Another Man’s Harvest

Were they, really, mistakes, or seeds of opportunity?

Think about it. If you’re a gardener, you know seeds are necessary to grow anything. To have a harvest, seeds must be planted and nurtured. It’s a small leap of faith to see that we are given seeds — for our personal growth. What we do with them is our choice.

Speaking of gifts, here’s another thought. If flesh and blood, imperfect specimens of earthly Fathers have an aching desire to give the best to their children, it’s pretty easy to imagine a Higher Power having our best interests at heart.

The Man In The Arena

Speaking of heart, here are the words of a hero, Teddy Roosevelt.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Cold and timid souls will delight when we stumble. They will envy our success — and, the galactically stupid of them will, literally, swear at us, as we offer to help them in their journey.

At the very best, 50% of the world will love us — and, the other 50% not so much. If we boldly share our beliefs and courageously defend them, guaranteed, we will make enemies of those with different beliefs. Because — birds of a feather do flock together.

It is not the end of the world when we face adversity, failure, and heartache. It is, simply, the end of one, very long, bad day.

Framing Is What Builders Do

Because success is a state (or, frame) of mind, all we need to do is ‘re-state‘ — or ‘re-frame‘ — the situation from a Problem to an Opportunity.

And, “No,” this Story is not about defining Success by how much Money can be accumulated in a bank account. Remember, you are a unique creation — and, quite capable of defining Success in your way and on your terms.

Later in the life of Napoleon Hill, he had this to say,

Only by working harmoniously in co-operation with other individuals or groups of individuals and thus creating value and benefit for them will one create sustainable achievement for oneself.

We do that by planting the seeds of opportunity harvested from adversity, failure, and heartache. Then, we tend them with the greatest gift (love), which is a chosen, purposeful effort — often done in the face of fear — to nurture our own growth and the growth of others.

Catch A Gear

Generally, I write at a PG-13 level — for minds of an impressionable age.

However, this article is intended, only, for mature audiences.

My definition of that, for this conversation, is anything north of 30 years old. By the age of thirty, we have gained a wealth of education and experience. We have been suckered into believing things that, simply, were not true — by people who intentionally wanted to cause harm. And, we have, probably, been betrayed at least once.

Searching and Speeding

As a result, we have searched for that fine line, between — wanting to believe the best about everyone and protecting the integrity of our soul. For each of us, that fine line of distinction will be different. So, our search for answers will have been unique.

During that search for answers, odds are good that we read a few books. One of them might have been Speed of Trust, by Stephen M. R. Covey.

Catch a gear is my euphemism for —

grab a gear
turnin’ and burnin’
runnin’ full stack
mashin’ and a gassin’

All of which are Trucker terms of endearment for — going faster.

Marbles In The Jar

As twenty-somethings, we were invincible — with no thought for tomorrow. In fact, we didn’t even think about the end of days, because we were consumed with squeezing every last drop of fun out of each day.

The idea of going faster was a joke — because, we were already running around with our hair on fire, billowing black smoke, and going in big circles. Yet, past that doorway threshold of thirty into a bit of dimness in energy, the light came on.

As thirty-somethings, using the math of Threescore and More (score is twenty), we felt a sense of urgency and discovered a jar half empty — or, half full. Either way, time became a more precious resource and priority in our thinking.

Imagine A World

Think about what our world could, should, and would be like if, only, the truth was spoken, there was adherence to moral principles, and sincerity of belief accompanied every action. In other words, rather than some individuals striving to be characters, everyone became self-disciplined in nurturing righteous character.

Just imagine the new frontiers…

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

Let’s catch a gear. 🙂

Radical Acceptance

From Upset To Ecstatic

Is anything bothering you – right now?

Are you uptight about any event, thing, or individual — who has caused you grief?

For most of us, the answer is, “Oh, let me count the ways!”

Yet — there is a secret to calming ourselves.

For the sake of conversation, pick an item, above. Odds are good that, if it’s:

1) an Event, you’re replaying the video in your mind of some action, or inaction, that might have gone better.

2) a Thing, you’re reminded of the expression, “We don’t own things — things own us.”

3) an Individual, you’re either plotting revenge — or impatient for Karma to deliver their just desserts.

In other words, we feel trapped in a world beyond our choosing.

But… what if, I can guarantee to change that feeling — immediately?

The Secret

Radical Acceptance

That’s right — simply, unconditionally, accept what is – iiWii – It Is What It Is.

That event you’re replaying over and over in your mind. Stop it! Wrap your mind around this, “Forgiveness is letting go of the notion that there can be a different, or better, yesterday.” The event is done, over, and in the Past — where it belongs. Move forward into the Present and set your mind on a dream of the Future.

That thing you’re obsessing about. Fix it, give it to someone less fortunate, or be as happy with it as the day you bought it. And, if none of that works, absorb the lesson of, “Beware the impulse shopping purchase and sleep on any major decision requiring resources of time and money.”

That individual you’re imagining in Hades. Let them go. They have made their choices — now, make yours. Decide that you can’t fix Stupid. Take back the power you have given them over your Thoughts. Change their role in your life and think this, “When I give, I’m all in — but, when I’m done there’s no looking back.”

Forgoing All Others

There is something magical about making a choice. Notice the adjective “a” — singular. While there are multiple options, we are stressed — uncertain about which one to choose. At the moment we pick one, we forgo all other choices.

Again, it’s radical acceptance of that one option.

Doesn’t it feel good?

It is our Independence Day.

We have found freedom from the outside influence of anything or anybody.

What Is

“I am amused that you continue to ask for me to explain — what is not and never was.”

That was my response to an attorney, who wanted me to explain the unexplainable. He had taken a course of action, which transformed the simple into the complex. In fact, the potential exists that he has endangered a Family by encouraging them to, unintentionally, break the law.

How often do we fall into the trap of letting our thoughts and energies be consumed by the not of what is?

In other words, how much of our day is wasted by thinking about what is behind us — or, what is outside of our control? That’s the purest and craziest definition of — what is not and never was.

If we’re standing in the light of what is right, there is absolutely no reason to explain the darkness of another person’s wrong. To do so changes our thinking from, what is — to, what is not.

This Is What Is

1.) Law provides order to what otherwise results in chaos. Every structure of dynamic goodness functions within the parameters of principle.

2.) Activities of growth and purpose occur in the Present — moment to moment — because of a thoughtful plan for the Future.

3.) We are Captains of our own Destiny, who sail the seas of the unknown and find our greatest happiness in the Journey of enriching the lives we touch.

That’s plenty to keep us busy.

Understanding the core principles of right and wrong is one thing. Living a life of principle is another. Sometimes, we do what we know not — and, then, forget to do what we know. Eventually, we sync knowledge with action, to discover a higher dimension — of thought and being.

Focusing our attention on one thing at a time can best be remembered with this mantra — “Whatever our hands find to do, let’s do it with all our might.” And — if those efforts are constant and consistent with a purposeful plan, the result will be a Reality of our Dreams.

Believing in a future beyond our imaginations unshackles us from the safe harbor of what is known. In fact, belief in a Higher Power becomes the wind in our sails. As with all destinations, Ports-of-Call come and go. What endures, forever, are the impressions made on the souls aboard — and, beyond.

Forget about the small minds chained to the chaos of — what is not and never was.

Remember the power of Understanding, Focusing, and Believing in — What Is.

Respect

RESPECT

What would you do if someone screamed, “You’re a Dumb F#cker!” And, then went on to yell, “I have no respect for you!”

Yes, I know, that paragraph is missing the “?” at the end. Yet, the experience for me was more about the “!” — or, in other words, the exclamation of ignorance and arrogance.

Thankfully for both of us the proclamation in the first paragraph, above, was made in a phone conversation. Otherwise, I might have been tempted to persuade him to respect his elders. I have to say, though, this guy is Number 1 in my book. In 35+ years of serving the public as a CPA, I had never heard those words. First time for everything, I guess.

If one is an incident, two is a coincidence, and three is a pattern — then, I have a Story to share with YOU.

Three Times In Three Months

The first time was in February — when a Teenager had been asked to keep their stuff gathered into somewhat organized piles. Perfection was not the standard — simply the traditional courtesy of keeping foreign objects out of the travel paths of other inhabitants of the Family abode.

When multiple requests were ignored, I asked that teenager what he was ‘thinking’ — because, I know for a fact, “All we do begins with a Thought.” Well, he shared what was on his mind — which was to find fault with me, for asking.

The third time was in April — when a Marine sought my participation in helping him start a new business. After 26 years as a Gunnery Sergeant and 6 years as an Air Traffic Controller, this middle-age fellow seemed to be an excellent candidate for my Coaching Services.

One problem was he wanted to constantly present his resume and refused to listen to some pretty good advice. Then, the cherry-on-top was catching him in a lie — which we had wasted a large amount of Time discussing the solution to what, really, wasn’t a problem, at all.

The second time was in March — when a third-generation Millennial rancher (the one with the foul mouth at the beginning of this story) was planning a Family transition without the participation of his Parents. Yes, I briefly participated, while thinking, “Although not the best way to start, at least this might be the first step toward something good for the Family.”

Post Turtle

What Begins Twisted, Ends Twisted

Here’s the reality:

1.) Grandpa (with the help of Grandma) built something special.

2.) Dad (with the help of Mom) was expected to maintain what Grandpa built. Maintenance men are commonly known as Janitors.

3.) Junior was born on third base and will lie to convince you that he hit a home run. Although he is the Janitor’s son, the rest of the world recognizes him for what he is — a Post Turtle. (click the hyperlink because it’s a good story)

Nothing New Under The Sun

I do believe things today are about like they have always been. In other words, I get it — sometimes misunderstandings happen because of generational differences. The educations and experiences – of each generation – create a different worldview for its participants.

However, regarding the common theme woven within the three episodes at the beginning of this presentation, disrespect is a character flaw. And, the way these Stories end is never pleasant.

Once, there was an old fellow who was on a Mission to give the inhabitants of a Country a heads-up. He had an old-fashioned name: Elijah. His successor had another old-fashioned name: Elisha.

In the vernacular, the ship hit the sand when 42 young men decided to have great sport with Elisha. They did not hurl sticks or stones. They simply used words (which, regardless of the schoolyard rhyme, do hurt more) and received immediate recompense for their disrespect.

Gaslighting Is Pure Craziness

Gaslight

Narcissists are enthusiasts of gaslighting (in an attempt) to disorient and confuse us. They do this by using denial and projection, usually under the pretense of being concerned — in order to make us feel even more perplexed.

If they succeed at this, they can then grandstand us by saying, “See, you are crazy and out of control!”

Introduction To A Narcissist

A Narcissist Weapon

A narcissist’s weapon of choice is often verbal — by slander, lies, playing the victim (in flipped tales of who was the victim and who was the abuser), gossip, rage, verbal abuse, and intentional infliction of emotional pain.

Think of direct and clear communication (The Truth), especially when it is about the manipulation itself, as the psychological equivalent to holding up a cross to a vampire. Most manipulators recoil in the face of being “busted” and the air goes out of the pressure they are trying to create just as easily as it escapes a punctured balloon.

Three Chords and the Truth

Boundaries & Respect

Respect is only possible with clearly defined boundaries. The sovereignty of a country is defined by its border. As individuals, we are citizens of one.

Self-respect is everything that goes on within our boundaries. Respect for others occurs at the border and according to mutually acceptable customs.

Profitable interactions occur through doors of opportunity that swing on the hinges of “No, thanks.” and “Yes, please!”

Grown Adults

Never Accept Disrespect

Narcissists will capture our attention — they are the swashbucklers cutting a wide swath with their theatrics. They are manipulative and easily angered, especially when they don’t receive the attention they consider their birthright.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder believe they are superior or special, and often try to associate with other people they believe are unique or gifted in some way. This association enhances their self-esteem, which is typically quite fragile underneath the surface. Individuals with NPD seek excessive admiration and attention in order to know that others think highly of them.

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat and may be left feeling humiliated or empty when they experience an “injury” in the form of criticism or rejection.

Pop Goes The Weasel

That young, ignorant, arrogant, and clueless fellow at the beginning of this Story has chosen to enroll in the School of Hard Knocks — his classes are about to begin.

Similar to the consequences in the story about Elisha, I see bears in the future of this foul-mouthed childish imp. One bear I see approaching is a Market less than bullish. Another bear, even more ferocious, is a rate of Interest greater than zero.

You see — I invested hundreds of hours for the benefit of this guy and his Family. Scattered around their little farm operation, there’s plenty of new green paint (John Deere Green) — which can never possibly be paid for with current management practices.

So, I guided him and his wife to an understanding of Balance Sheets, by using the basic Accounting Equation of Assets = Liabilities + Equity. Or, another way to state the same set of facts is Assets – Liabilities = Equity. (which can be Negative)

When the light (Truth) was shown on his misadventures (Too Much Debt), he, literally, hissed through the telephone connection, as the air from his little balloon (Ego) was punctured.

To this day, I remain amused.