“I am amused that you continue to ask for me to explain — what is not and never was.”
That was my response to an attorney, who wanted me to explain the unexplainable. He had taken a course of action, which transformed the simple into the complex. In fact, the potential exists that he has endangered a Family by encouraging them to, unintentionally, break the law.
How often do we fall into the trap of letting our thoughts and energies be consumed by the not of what is?
In other words, how much of our day is wasted by thinking about what is behind us — or, what is outside of our control? That’s the purest and craziest definition of — what is not and never was.
If we’re standing in the light of what is right, there is absolutely no reason to explain the darkness of another person’s wrong. To do so changes our thinking from, what is — to, what is not.
This Is What Is
1.) Law provides order to what otherwise results in chaos. Every structure of dynamic goodness functions within the parameters of principle.
2.) Activities of growth and purpose occur in the Present — moment to moment — because of a thoughtful plan for the Future.
3.) We are Captains of our own Destiny, who sail the seas of the unknown and find our greatest happiness in the Journey of enriching the lives we touch.
That’s plenty to keep us busy.
Understanding the core principles of right and wrong is one thing. Living a life of principle is another. Sometimes, we do what we know not — and, then, forget to do what we know. Eventually, we sync knowledge with action, to discover a higher dimension — of thought and being.
Focusing our attention on one thing at a time can best be remembered with this mantra — “Whatever our hands find to do, let’s do it with all our might.” And — if those efforts are constant and consistent with a purposeful plan, the result will be a Reality of our Dreams.
Believing in a future beyond our imaginations unshackles us from the safe harbor of what is known. In fact, belief in a Higher Power becomes the wind in our sails. As with all destinations, Ports-of-Call come and go. What endures, forever, are the impressions made on the souls aboard — and, beyond.
Forget about the small minds chained to the chaos of — what is not and never was.
Remember the power of Understanding, Focusing, and Believing in — What Is.
Recently, a friend teased saying, “Now, keep your Ego, Expectations, and Emotions out of the way.”
“Profound,” I thought. For many years, I’ve been on this Crusade to — Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage. My friend just exposed me to the Yang of my Yin — the Flow of my Ebb — the Take of my Give — and, the Down of my Up.
I commonly refer to my E’s as the ‘Three-E Formula’ — Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage.
To remember there is a Dark side — or, shadow — to any Light, I think I’ll refer to these as ‘Three Evil E’s’ — Ego, Expectations, and Emotions.
“Now, hold on!”, You say, “Aren’t emotions good? After all, my special someone is always encouraging me to express them.”
Well — yes. Controlled emotions are good — expectations of positive results are fine — and, even, a little bit of ego helping us march confidently through our day is great.
The ‘problem’ (opportunity in disguise) is when, Ego gets in the way of new learning and growth — when, Expectations taint a new adventure with an already premeditated determination of outcome — and, when, Emotions are uncontrolled and released with fury on the innocent.
Why is this an opportunity in disguise?
Because, now that my friend has helped me to recognize the dark side of my ‘Three-E Formula,’ I can be cognizant of the dangers that ‘The Evil Three’ present.
Imagine your favorite action movie. The ground is crumbling behind our heroes and heroines as they run toward the only escape available to them. Our heart is in our throat, as we encourage them to go, quickly, forward.
Life is like that. There is no standing still. There is no going back. The only direction to safety is forward.
The Story of a Friend
I lost a dear friend of twenty-plus years because he made a choice to be comfortable in a rut. The definition of a rut is – a grave with the ends kicked out. Yes, it’s dark, damp, and depressing down there. My friend exploded upon being reminded of the only two choices we have: Grow or Die.
He assured me in no uncertain terms that he was not depressed. (The fellow doth protest too much, methinks.)
As recently as, November 15, 2006, this is the complete text of the Testimonial he offered when asked to document our business relationship — Client and Certified Public Accountant.
While reflecting on the past years of business growth … the ups and downs; the trials and tests; the hard work; and, never-ending commitment to push forward … I come to realize that you have been a vital part of that growth. You have been with us all the way.
The accounting profession has truly been honored by your steadfast commitment to serving, to advise … to help direct my thoughts in the financial decisions of our company. It has made my job as CEO much easier.
We are in our 15th year and looking forward to working with you in the years to come.
Fast forward to September 14, 2011, and this is my goodbye to a business relationship, which was enjoyed by that friend, who (at one time) was closer than any brother.
The purpose of this letter is to document the essence of our phone conversation, yesterday.
At the end of that conversation, you wondered if your message was adequately communicated by asking, “Is that clear?!” My response, “Perfectly.”
It is crystal clear that there is a difference in core philosophies.
You believe and have stated quite clearly, numerous times over the last few months, that you and your Company are at the mercy of the Hand of Fate. In essence, you are tethered to a fixed set of practices, which have brought you success in the Past — and, now, are frustrated that the Present is less than accepting.
I believe life is what we make of it, friend — if it doesn’t fit, make alterations. My purpose in business is summarized in four words: Building Bright Financial Futures. I have gone to great lengths to promote this idea to the world via every digital means possible. I have clearly communicated this core belief to you via an email conversation thread from May 17th to July 20th.
My last email request of you was for one hour of your time to discern how we might build a dynamic business relationship. Having heard absolutely nothing from you, I called yesterday with an offer for year-end planning. In the past, you welcomed the opportunity for us to talk about your Company.
You chose to refuse my offer. You have that right. I also have the right to choose.
As of today, we no longer have a business relationship. You are encouraged to engage other professionals to provide services for your financial fiscal year (and, payroll calendar quarter) ended September 30th. Documents in your Client File Portal will be available to you and your representatives until December 31st.
What happened between November 15, 2006, and September 14, 2011?
We will never know. To be judgmental toward my friend and all he has experienced in the last five years is the wrong thing to do. I can, though, tell my story. In the past, I have first-hand knowledge and experience of what it’s like to be stuck in a rut. It is dark, damp and depressing.
Rest of the Story
Since this is my story, I’ll finish telling it my way.
The darkest times in my life began, at the moment, when I started to think that I had arrived. Thinking that I had reached my destination and could quit — or, coast — or, savor the rewards — or, otherwise think I had, really, become somebody. You see, the focus had shifted to thinking, believing, and acting as if, the world revolved around me.
In the simplest of analogies, my life had gone off a cliff. The ground was, literally, crumbling beneath my feet as I tumbled into the chasm of darkness.
Recovery from the pit was only possible by acknowledging, “There but for the grace of God go I” … further down into the abyss. At that moment, there was a Rock on which to cling and a view of the hard work necessary to climb from the rubble into the brightness of opportunity, once again.
Don’t Look Down
There is nothing new under the sun.
There’s a story of a guy walking on water. His name was Peter and he was a cocky fellow, with relatives from Missouri (the Show Me state). He enjoyed the companionship of a friend, who cared deeply about the growth of others.
So, one day Peter challenged his friend with, “If you’re really as good as you claim, ask me to walk on water.” Guys being guys, the friend accepted the challenge and said, “Come ahead.”
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water. But, when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink.
Moral of this story: Don’t look down.
Children Grow Up
In fact, don’t look back, either. The ground is crumbling behind us. There is only one safe path — Forward.
There’s another story of a guy pondering the progression of life. His name was Paul and one of his many attributes was that of a Philosopher. He observed, “When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I had the understanding of a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”
Moral of this story: Children grow up.
At this point in my story, there is at least one person just aching to challenge this thesis of — Forward motion being the best direction and Growth being a prerequisite to a rich life. They will posit that “going back” has its merits.
We miss a turn at the intersection and need to go back.
We forget something when leaving on vacation and need to go back.
We neglect to learn a lesson and need to go back (for another dose).
We ignore an opportunity, which is good for us, and need to go back.
Going Back & Moving Forward
I agree. There are legitimate times for us to go back and recover from frailties of the human condition. “Thank God for Good Directions and turnip greens!” (by Billy Currington and his album Doin’ Somethin’ Right) Turn up your speakers and enjoy this tune.
For the astute scholars among us, I will acknowledge their point that we are encouraged by the Good Book to go back. As we examine this riddle to the very essence of life, the answer is simple. We are encouraged to be childlike, not childish. There is a difference.
So… at the moment, when there is the temptation to think we have arrived and can stop growing — Look up, think forward, and really focus on the hard work to take the next step.
Go ahead — do it. Now, that we are big kids — older and wiser, with all of our education and experience, hurts and betrayals, safely archived in the memory banks — do it. Be innocent, be sweet, be open, be humble, be accepting, be trusting, and believe that we can experience heaven, here on earth.
All we need to do is to take that next step — often into the unknown — forward, to grow.
There is only one way to, really, learn anything — and, that is: hands-on.
It is impossible for the mind to forget what the hands have learned.
Why, then, do we believe someone else has the answers to our questions? And, why do we defer our good judgment to others?
We Are Unique
No one else has our combination of Heredity and Environment. Only we, individually, can encourage our growth.
To do that, it is imperative we get — and, stay — in the game.
Do you know the difference between an Amateur and a Professional? Well, the Amateur practices until they can do something right — the Professional practices until it is impossible for them to do anything wrong.
In fact, the Professional, always, practices. Why?
Amateur vs. Professional
1.) Talk is cheap. Knowing something and doing it are two, entirely, different approaches. Those who can: practice — those who can’t: preach. Those who spin their stories of yesterday will be left in the dust of those who are getting it done, today. What got us here will not take us to where we need to go. The principle is, “A little less talk and a lot more action.” Amateurs will tell you how to do something — Professionals will show you.
2.) No pain — No gain. Easy is hard — Hard is easy. Shortcuts are the surest way to oblivion. There is an order to the Universe. It is obvious when we realize that every worthwhile endeavor begins with a rock-solid foundation. The beginning of every construction project is ugly — it starts with an excavation, a hole in the ground. It requires a whole lot of digging and pounding. Amateurs want the glory of a finish — Professionals seek to serve from beginning to end.
3.) Pink elephants are absurd. Any single negative in an equation forces a negative result. When told, “Don’t think about pink elephants,” what do we do? Bad habits die hard. They don’t go of their own volition — a stake must be driven through the heart of the beast. That stake is sustained, positive, decisive, and committed actions toward the new desire. Mastery of the self is an artistic expression. Amateurs are tethered to the past — Professionals use that vine to swing into the future.
Those who claim to know it all — and, therefore, take it upon themselves to think that they know what is best for us — are dangerous. Arrogance and ignorance are a volatile combination. Regardless of what someone might know up to this present moment, there is always the opportunity to learn more. If… they stay in the game.
The game always changes. It is the only constant in life. Those on the sidelines are stuck — frozen in that moment of time — when they chose to stop there. Those on the court continue to learn, to get better, to improve, to innovate, and to grow as individuals and teammates. They do common things in uncommon ways — they take the scientific to an art form.
All, because of their love for the game — of Life!