Relationship Cookies In Before Taking Cookies Out

In our daily endeavors, do we put relationship cookies in the jar before expecting to take cookies out? In other words, what do we give before taking? Do we think in terms of finance to realize, we must be able and willing to make an investment before we can receive the dividends?

This is much more than the Quid Pro Quo of, “I’ll do something nice for you, so you’ll do something nice for me.” What I’m talkin’ about is, “I’ll give my best to each encounter with another person, expecting nothing in return.”

Karma is 100% accurate in delivering to each of us exactly what we’ve earned.

Those who contribute little to society and never put a cookie in the Universal jar will receive little in return. Those who go all in to give their best and dump cookies in the laps of everyone will receive abundant rewards.

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Forgive Yourself and Others to Have Peace of Mind

Let go of the notion that there can be a different or better yesterday.

The best definition of forgiveness I’ve heard, “Let go of the notion that there can be a different or better yesterday.” I have memorized this, and when tempted to become bitter toward a life event or recent experience, it is silently repeated until I can forgive, either myself or others.

As a straight-line thinker, High C personality from the DISC Realm, I prefer logic to solve problems. The above definition of forgiveness is quite logical. We cannot go back in time to undo, redo, or otherwise tweak the past. Back To The Future is a fun movie to watch; yet even Marty McFly was surprised with the effects of messing with the Past. It’s history, and it belongs behind us.

There’s a reason automotive manufactures put large windshields in front of us and provide for only an itty-bitty rearview mirror. Seems silly to mention, but we are the safest when looking forward, down the road in front of us, and through that big windshield.

Yes, the rearview mirror is important to remember what we’re leaving behind. And to make sure nothing is sneaking up on us. One other quite functional use is to check the wide-eyed wonder of children on road trips. Oh, and the women are reminding me that it also works to check for any makeup blemishes.

Funny thing, though — as much as I function on logic, warmth and calmness are the emotions when I say either to myself or give voice when sharing with others, “Let go of the notion that there can be a different or better yesterday.”

Now, let’s look at what the Sages of the Ages have to offer as encouragement for us to forgive ourselves and others to have peace of mind.

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Shirtsleeves to Shirtsleeves in Three Generations

The progression of wealth begins with a Builder, transferring down to a Janitor, and finally disappearing from the clutches of a Debtor. There is a better way to leave an inheritance for our Children.

One of the greatest burdens on children is the inheritance of wealth. Yes, I know this sounds counterintuitive. Yet, with 35+ years of experience working with three generations of families, I can attest to the validity of the premise.

Each culture has its phraseology:

  • Old English: “there’s nobbut three generations atween a clog and clog.”
  • Italy: “from the stable to the stars and back again.”
  • Japan: “rice paddies to rice paddies in three generations.”
  • China: “from peasant shoes to peasant shoes in three generations.”
  • Scotland: “father buys, son builds, grandchild sells, and his son begs.”
  • America: “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.”

Why is this true? Answer: “We want what we don’t have.

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I Release YOU Into Your Place of Peace and Goodness

You’ve surely heard the expression, “Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.”

In your Life, right now, does it feel like you’re wrestling with a PIG — of any shape or size? If so, please LET GO of the dang pig!

Climb out of the pigpen, sling the filthy mud from your clothes, remove the memory from your mind, soothe the pain of emotions, purge the stink from your soul, and DECIDE to never, ever, DO that, again. There is a better WAY — to enjoy your Life and all the goodness available to YOU.

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One Good Direction Is Forward Into the Future

You’ve heard the stories of horses saved from burning barns to turn right around and run back into the flaming structures. Why do they do that?

Wouldn’t it make more “horse sense” for them to continue moving far away from the inferno? Maybe, there’s no logic involved. Maybe, we’re creatures of habit. If you’ve enjoyed time around horses, you know each of them has their favorite stall and are quite insistent on it.

Speaking of which, do we use “common sense” when escaping from the Hell of our mistakes? Or do we have a burning desire to go back?

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Dynamic Conversation Is the Secret to Connection

When was the last time you enjoyed a dynamic conversation? The question is sincere — because my recent experiences make me wonder if we’ve lost the art of conversation.

In this Age of Devices, we’re so dang connected we’re disconnected. A text message, here — and an email tome, there — gives the impression we’ve done our duty to communicate.

Oh, I agree; there was a Transmission — but, was there Reception. You know what was Sent. Do you know what was Received? Odds are very good, there’s a chasm between the two. The third leg of communication is Feedback.

Any relationship is between two people. Not, three or more — TWO. For those two individuals to build a relationship, there must be communication. Communication can occur over a variety of channels. The most effective method of communication is a dynamic conversation.

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Dare to Care and We Will Achieve Beyond Compare

The one thing standing between us and greatness is the tendency to Compare — ourselves with others. Magic happens when we stop the comparisons and Dare to Care.

To dare means to have courage, to be a Trailblazer, and to go where angels fear to tread. To care encompasses a desire to serve. The focus is on others; it is NOT on ourselves. In other words, our worldview is outward not inward.

Last week on Friday, two Master Craftsmen were discussing a “fair price” for their Customers. Earlier in the week on Wednesday, the three of us had met and prepared a Better Business Plan for the remainder of their year.

At the moment we finished preparing their Better Business Plan, they were quite confident in what a “fair price” was —for themselves and their Customers. Yet, two days later they were talking about a “flat rate” book.

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Vision to Succeed Is Catalyst for Safe Journeys

An old Proverb states the premise nicely, “Without vision, the people perish.” Or to frame the same principle in the vernacular, “Stand for something, or fall for anything.” We need vision to succeed in Life.

You’ve heard the expression, “Rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.” An experience last week reminded me of the incongruity of dysfunctional thought patterns, in the face of reality and facts of imminent demise.

While prattling on with the rah-rah nonsense of a used car salesman, the Owner of a roofing company (known to me from prior experience as EGO) wanted me to believe he was ready to manage in a new and better way.

His new CEO is quite fluent in Corporate Speak, which we all know wedges itself into the category of: Talk is Cheap. Between the two of them, the cacophony of their silliness lasted all of 30 minutes.

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One To Many Is Possible By Diligent Effort

There is a simple solution to the Many wanting what One has. What is bass ackwards can be fixed by adopting the Universal Principle of One To Many.

Of all the responsibilities a parent has, probably the most important is how we “bend the twig” of our children. My parents understood the value of an education. So, at an early age, I have memories of Books.

Big books, little books, books with pictures, and those without. As a little guy I remember sitting next to Mom as she read my favorite stories. There was one about Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel.

More often, though, I asked to hear about the Little Red Hen. For some reason, I was intrigued by how a request for help could be denied by others in the community of the barnyard.

Many years later, I came to understand how anyone pursuing Success can make false friends and true enemies. Since that Universal Principle is table stakes in the game of life, let’s look at the lessons taught by Little Red Hen.

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Think Know Do

I was sitting at the desk with a salesman and behind him, tacked to the wall was a piece of plain white 8½” x 11″ size paper with these letters: TKD. Thoroughly impressed, I commended his belief in “Think Know Do.”

He grinned sheepishly and confessed that his manager had pinned the sign as a reminder “Time Kills Deals.” My antennas shot straight up. After a tour of their factory, conversations with upper echelons, and a discovery of inferior processes and unethical people, sure enough, “Time Kills Deals.”

So, TKD is a two-edged sword — it can represent success, or defeat.

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