And — “What does that have to do with me, cartoons, and having fun?!”
My response, “Everything!”
Let Me Explain
Everything begins with YOU.
Your thoughts, your ideas, your dreams will, eventually, be the catalyst to Build Something — Special.
The reason WHY you want to Build Something — Special is so YOU can be your own boss, provide well for your Family, and achieve personal and business success to the level you choose.
Wile E Coyote and Roadrunner offer intrinsic lessons to teach us how to navigate the threats and compensate for weaknesses — so, that, we can build on our strengths and focus on the opportunities. (SWOT)
Having fun is the definition of a rich, full, and abundant life. This preamble from our United States Declaration of Independence speaks volumes to what should be our chosen lifestyle.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Importance of Speed
Until I was twelve years old, I though my middle name was Runget. Dad was a ranch-hand, working on Montana ranches owned by Trust Fund Babies. Although our family was poor of money, we were rich in love — Dad loved his Family and I loved to go with him, to work.
Whether we were building new wood fences for the bullpen, fixing a broken piece of equipment, or training a young horse, there were always those occasions where Dad needed something we didn’t have, with us.
So, he would say, “Kim, run get…” (whatever it was imperative to success)
And, I ran. Me and Forrest Gump — we ran. I ran so much that by the time we moved to the foreign country of East Texas, I ran the other guys off the track and brought home my share of 1st place ribbons.
Wile E Coyote
If you want to see the predators circle, begin building something of value. A whole pack of your enemies will be first to the scene — and not far behind them will be wolves in sheep’s clothing. Many you counted as friends will show their true color — green, with envy and jealousy.
Even though cute in a cartoon, this is an apt definition of a coyote.
“… long, slim, sick, sorry-looking skeleton” and a “living, breathing allegory of the desire to want. He’s always hungry.”
Samuel Clemens’ book Roughing It
Unless you go all in to achieve success according to your plan, the predators will go all out to destroy your hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
And — that’s WHY it is imperative that you have a Better Business Plan.
We never see the Roadrunner working on his blueprint to stay alive. Yet, his resourcefulness indicates that he is constantly modifying and adapting his Better Business Plan to avoid the wiles of the coyote.
Much more important than playing not to lose (his life) it is much more fun playing to win (your success).
Beyond the importance of speed discussed earlier, discipline, dedication, patience, perseverance, and collaboration are the secrets to drafting, implementing, measuring, modifying, and celebrating your Better Business Plan.
Better Business Plan
Since we have two hands with five fingers on each, let’s simplify all this into a 5-Step Model.
Drafting ~ The first step is to make a plan. All creations of value begin with an idea captured into a Blueprint.
Implementing ~ Once the plan is available, the adage, “Work the plan!” rings true. Blood, sweat, and tears will be the investment.
Measuring ~ In order to manage, we must measure — “What is going right?” — and, “What needs improvement?”
Modifying ~ “Nothing works quite right the first time.” Our choices are Resignation and Despair — or, Fascination and Curiosity.
Celebrating ~ Success is a beautiful experience, to be shared with admiring friends and respectful enemies. Enjoy!
We have two hands — and, not three, five, or eight — because they are a reminder there are only two paths available: Light, or Darkness. On one hand, this — and, on the other hand, that.
The creation of light requires effort — make a candle, gather fuel, or strike a match all require resources and time.
Darkness is a void — a vast nothingness of worthless space. Yet, host to those who choose to hide their evil thoughts and actions.
Wile E Coyote usually met his demise in the darkness of a canyon, as we watched him go “poof” into a cloud of dust. His own actions were the cause of the result — and Roadrunner was, simply, a spectator to Karma.
Begin creating something of value and watch what happens. The dark forces of the Universe and people of that disposition will gather their armies in a relentless pursuit to attack YOU — and your creation.
Because it’s much easier to destroy than to build. Those individuals who won’t build anything special of their own don’t want you to, either.
The War of Art
One of the best explanations for this phenomenon is offered by author Steven Pressfield in his book The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle.
He describes how the attacks will come from others — as well as from ourselves. Unless we’re afflicted with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, generally, we feel unworthy to create.
Our thoughts, usually, are, “What do I have to offer to others?”
Then, about the time, we discover our passionate purpose and offer gifts of great value — a new creation never before thought, or done — we will hear the naysayers find fault. Our insecurities take control and we shrink back into our comfortable shell — that comfortable rut (grave with the ends kicked out) and routine of everyday drudgery.
Freedom To Be
As long as we allow our lives to be dictated by the whims of society, we will be living just like everyone else. We will fit in with the masses, or be beaten down into servitude — by those with an agenda for our lives and resources.
Or — we can choose to be free – to be – a creative force in the Universe.
The funny thing about freedom is that it is not free. We must decide who, or what, we will serve. There are really, only, two choices: Good, or Evil; Light, or Darkness; Creation, or Destruction.
Once we have discovered the purpose for our existence, the fun begins.
We learn by doing and the fun is in the doing; — so, let’s have fun learning.
You might ask, “Learn what?”
My response is, “Everything!”
The more we learn, the more we know; The more we know, the more we sow; The more we sow, the more we grow.
Because the attacks on our creations will always come from outside, we must be vigilant to protect the mind, heart, body, and soul.
All we do begins with a thought.
The greatest threat to ourselves and what we choose to create will be the influences we let into our mind. It is impossible to thwart the assault — a thought will penetrate our consciousness. Our response will determine if it has a fertile bed to sprout, mature, and become malignant.
At that moment of consciousness, we can choose to refocus on our purpose — and replace evil with good. The difference is a world of our creation — or, not. We can enjoy Heaven on Earth.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
There is no guarantee, or definition, of happiness in that statement.
Each of us — individually — are free to determine what happiness is.
My hope is that YOU will engage with a relentless pursuit — to build something special for YOU and your Family.
In an ordered Universe, these four — in this order — would be the performance realms: Goodness, Thought, Action, and Feelings.
Goodness would fuel our Thoughts, which motivate us to Action, resulting in warm fuzzy Feelings.
However, we live in a time with slogans similar to, “If it feels good, do it.“
So, we begin this Story upside, down.
Genius is taking the complex and making it simple — which, then, means Stupidity is taking the simple and making it complex. Let me illustrate the silliness of this hampster-wheel existence.
If we being with feelings, the analogy is of a person on the beach, who discovers a small rowboat. They’re in the mood for sun-bathing and the calming effects of water motion — so, they give the boat a push into the ocean, hop in, lay down, and float away on the waves.
Next, let’s picture another individual as a fitness guru. They know the action of their muscles can power that rowboat. So, they search about for a set of oars, before launching. They row furiously to work those arm and leg muscles — yet, we find them rowing in circles, for hours at a time.
Now, here comes someone to that same little rowboat with a map and a plan. They have put thought into their upcoming voyage. In addition to oars, they have brought the appropriate provisions for the trip. They set their compass for a destination of their choice and set sail.
Finally, we have an individual who boldly strides into the theatre of our mind exercises, with goodness in mind. In other words, they have a purpose when approaching the little boat on the beach. As a result, they have brought an Evinrude outboard motor — and off they go.
Begin With The End In Mind
Then, this challenge comes from the clueless, “What end?!”
And… that’s the point of this presentation, “We need a source of goodness to establish a purpose — that’s so dang exciting and challenging — we are inspired to go all-in and give all.”
The complexity of this challenge can be simplified into three words.
Why How What
Why are you thinking about doing something? Does it complement your purpose in life? Will it provide happiness and joy? (People)
How will you accomplish your goal? Are you able to make the sacrifices necessary to let go of the old habits and develop new ways? (Process)
What will be the benefit to you and others in your sphere of influence? Is this legacy adequate for your mark on the world? (Results)
Back To The Story
Whatever became of the individuals we left on the boat?
For a while, the feelings person enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the motion of the waves. In time, they dozed off to sleep — and, then, awakened to the blackness of night, tossed to and fro by the hand of fate.
Our action Jackson figure sure enough built a few more muscles, for his own admiration. Because, after all, he was alone in that boat with his oars and paddling like a riverboat gambler — going nowhere fast.
Since all we do begins with a thought, that individual was at least headed to a specific destination they had chosen. Might be an adrenalin rush to get there — yet, once there, boredom is apt to set in.
Designed for greatness, engineered for success, and motivated by goodness our Captain of Destiny is courageously headed into uncharted waters to serve the multitudes.
From The Top, Down
There is an order to the Universe and it is this simple.
Spiritual Mental Physical Emotional
Regardless of belief, we are not the center of the Universe. Contrary to the modus operandi of the narcissist, there is a higher power — and Karma is deadly accurate in the delivery of what is earned.
All we do begins with a thought — and we have the freewill to choose what influences our thinking. Just like a radio dial, we can select the media flowing into our minds — good, or evil.
Yes, actions speak much louder than words. After sharing our intent with talk, we must make the walk — to deliver for the benefit of others. As we perform, The CARE Credential guides our conduct.
Guaranteed we will, then, experience natural highs better than any illegal street drugs. There are no side effects, crashes, or withdrawal symptoms. And — the beauty is — we can reach these euphoric states at any time.
Undeniably, there are two competing, unseen, forces in our society. Just like the concept of gravity, words are useless to describe the intangible — yet, the effects are very tangible.
To keep things simple we will acknowledge these two influential sources as — Good and Evil. The wavelengths of each are there for us to tune into.
Those of an older generation will remember a time when we were lucky to have three TV channels — maybe, one good and two with snow (white flickers on an otherwise black-and-white picture). Naturally, the clear black-and-white channel was watched the most.
Between the forces of Good and Evil, there is not a third choice. There is no maybe to this spectrum of choice. As analogies, a skydiver is either in the airplane – or, out; a woman is either pregnant – or, not; and we either believe – or don’t.
If we choose Good over Evil, we become conduits of goodness for the treasures from above to flow through us for the benefit of those below.
All great thriller movies have this in common — there are four heroes, each with a different and extreme temperament type, who are brought together by the hand of fate to overcome impossible odds.
During the adventure, it becomes clear to us that all four of those different and extreme temperaments — combined into one powerful force — were absolutely necessary for good to triumph over evil.
For each of us, individually, the same principle holds true — we must incorporate the four temperaments into our hero persona to be well balanced and successful in our ventures.
Types of Thinkers
There are three dimensions to human Thought: Flatliners, 2-D, and 3-D.
Flatliners are just that — draw a line, from left to right, and that represents the Zombies of the world. They don’t think — they just exist. If we let that flat line represent the horizon, there is never anything on it. No ideas, no plans, and no sense of direction, or purpose.
2-D Thinkers have a horizontal and vertical axis — in addition to left and right, they have an up and a down. Now, we get a picture of who they are. Literally, as we view any work of canvas art, we have a sense of the creators’ style, taste, and intention.
3-D Thinkers have a depth to their thoughts. That flat picture image we admired for a moment, now extends backward and forward, to offer an exciting opportunity for us to engage with that individual.
There are many variations of the Quadrant Philosophy. For the sake of this presentation, I’ll offer two — which I believe will enlighten, empower, and encourage you to invest time in your own discovery.
“Discovery of what,” you ask?
“Of you and how to connect with me,” I say.
Imagine a map of the United States. Now, draw the horizontal and vertical axis (big Plus sign) across the Map. Each of us lives in one of the four quadrants. Then, think about where your friends live. Do you, always, expect them to cross those axis lines to visit you? Or, is it more fun to go visit them?
The point: we study Relationship Strategies to understand how to get to where others are —because three-fourths of them do not live in our Quadrant.
One prominent personality profiling model is DISC — which is the acronym for these four profile types Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness.
For a small fee, you too can discover your location in the Quadrants by testing here.
Please, remember, we go through this exercise not to obtain a “label” — but, instead, to increase our understanding of how to better connect with other people. I believe in leading the way to make the path easier for those who choose to follow — so, here are the results of my DISC Classic 2.0.
So, let’s simplify DISC by using the analogy of target practice with a rifle, the performance of which is best achieved by: Ready, Aim, Fire.
A “High C” sharpshooter (remember, that’s your favorite SageTalk author) will do this: Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim, Aim, Aim (while considering distance to target, weight of bullet, grain of powder, composition of target, wind velocity, barometric pressure, etc). Somewhere in this sequence, probably after about the third Aim, your head is about to explode! Our bad. We — me, a “High C” — need data, lots of data. Because we intend to be precise in the result — when we, eventually, commit to squeezing the trigger.
I have many “High D” friends. Their approach to our target practice is: Fire! ~ Ready, Aim. In fact, they’re probably using their semi-automatic to blast away. “No worries, mate! Knock ’em all down. We’ll sort out the pieces, later!” Their motto is, “Just get it done and get it done, now!”
Oh, look. Here comes an I, a “High I” at that. Dressed to the nines in his sporting jacket, puffy pants, fancy cap, high-top boots — and, he has a designer shootin’ iron draped over his arm. He’s ready for the party, drinks, and conversation — after we punch a few holes.
And, yes, that’s a “High S” standing off to the side making sure all the spent cartridges are gathered and wondering if we, really, need to make this much noise.
Bill Engvall has the right idea for the galactically stupid people of the world — and, expresses it in his comedic routine — Here’s Your Sign. Yet, by considering the insight, above, the question becomes, “Are they really stupid?” Or, are they just doing the best they can with what they know and the resources available to them? And, is it possible that because their DISC sign is different from ours, they’re thinking we’re the “stupid” ones?!
Now, let’s have even more fun with a different set of Quadrants — King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover.
Yes, once again, I have whacked a path through the thickets for us.
As much as I wanted to be a King — because, after all, the meaning of the name Kim is Chief. And, many of my friends, when we’re working together, affectionately use that term quite liberally.
So, my first time through the assessment was Thursday, April 19th — during that week after Tax Season, when I had time for me. As I surveyed my kingdom through the large windows of my Red Lodge home — of which, the 18th Fairway was an extension of the backyard — all was well in the Realm. Sure enough, at that moment, I was a King.
Then, the next week, it was back to work. After a few days off, evidently, the Forces-That-Be decided I was ready to be engaged in new adventures. It was a Wednesday, April 25th, when I made it back to the castle, after a busy day of slaying Dragons. I thought, “Let’s take that silly KWML test, again — because today was a typical day in my universe.” Hello Spartacus.
A force of nature, Warriors have the power and confidence to conquer any task.
Confident, competitive, and analytical, you are a fierce and steady protector of your friends, family, and all things you hold dear. You’re extremely ambitious, targeted, and determined—almost to a fault of being self-centered—and are an undeniable force of industriousness.
While you’re logical, orderly, and respect the rules like the King and Queen, you’re much more assertive and always ready to dive into action or conflict. Because you prefer to be somewhat isolated, you tend to have few very good friends, but these friends definitely count on you whenever there’s a task to be done with precision.
Location on the cognitive-emotional spectrum: Located in the lower left quadrant of this spectrum, your personality reflects your strong emotional sense of confidence. Your style of thinking tends to be more left-brained — logical, sequential, rational, and objective.
“Give up the battle to win the war:” Dare to be occasionally weak to be seen as “real” to others and find that enemies can become friends if you let them have a bit of the power.
Again, the only reason I share this with you is to encourage YOU to understand where you are in relationship to other People.
Released to theaters in 1985 (same year as the birth of my daughter, Lindsey), the movie Silverado is a family favorite. The heroes are Emmett, Mal, Jake, and Paden.
In thinking about sharing this Story with you, I practiced the outline with my son, Ryan, a few days ago. He helped me identify the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover from the cast of Silverado.
Now, even as I type that out for us, do you see the pattern in the types of roles each of these four actors choose and for which they are best known?!
I rest my case.
There is something special about the KWML quadrants.
Four In One (CCPT)
Often, I’m asked, “What’s the difference between a Coach and a Consultant?! The simple answer is, “One asks all the questions and the other has all the answers.”
My mom offered daily prayers that I would go to Ambassador College and be trained as a Preacher. I have always wanted, though, to follow more in the footsteps of my dad and became a Teacher.
Coach They ask questions with the belief that eventually you’ll tap into your inner child and find the wisdom to deal with your own dang problems.
Consultant They show up on the scene to fix what is broken and bring with them the solutions to all of your problems.
Preacher They are passionate in the crusade to persuade you to believe you can enjoy heaven on earth, now – if you are willing to sacrifice your ego.
Teacher They will share with you all of the tricks and tips from their vast libraries of education and experience to assist in your journey of learning how to fish.
Cowboy Poet & Philadelphia Lawyer (CPPL)
The self-proclaimed label of Cowboy Poet is to honor the importance of heroes and the power of words. As a kid, I wore a fancy, tied-down, two-gun rig, with which to dispatch the bad guys. Now, I rely on the proverb, “Truly, the pen is mightier than the sword.”
I received the title of Philadelphia Lawyer from my dad when I was about ten years old. We were unloading sacks of cow salt out of the pickup into the granary one evening — and, I was doing my twenty questions routine.
Evidently, I lost track of the number — and, it must have been a long day for Dad. In exasperation and with a smile, he declared, “Kim, you ask so many questions that I’m sure you’re going to grow up to be a Philadelphia lawyer!”
He didn’t miss the mark by much. When it comes to putting together the conference room deals of our society, attorneys and CPAs are usually sitting side by side.
Fifty years after Dad’s observation, that natural curiosity has grown exponentially. The questions have become more focused and the intent is pure. I want to help YOU build something – special.
The mental image of a Cowboy Poet & Philadelphia Lawyer is one of ostensible contradiction. Yet, these four words remind me that life is best experienced on a spectrum. So, think of a sphere. Then, imagine the axis lines holding it symmetrical from the inside, out.
Like the four points of a compass — as far as the East is from the West — opposite ends of the axis lines are required for balance.
Growth occurs when we push the artificial limit of where the internal axis lines end — which, are at the edge of who we currently are. As we stretch the boundaries, the result is a greater sphere of influence for the benefit of many.
These spectrum’s of life stretch to infinity — if we have the courage to let our minds become open to the vastness of the universe and the unlimited potential of each individual.
The cornerstones of my heritage are Spurs and Books. What rowels are to spurs, vowels are to words. They are the jingle of rhythm and points of meaning.
A Cowboy (Warrior) is a man of action and defender of principle. The thoughtful approach of a Poet (Lover) casts a soft and gentle hue. Philadelphia (King) is symbolic of friendship and brotherly love. When those attributes are absent in a relationship, a Lawyer (Magician) intends to discover the facts, and just the facts, ma’am!
As we begin to summarize these different Quadrant Philosophy variations, I want the KWML to be our true North. Therefore, I’ll restate the order of DISC, CCPT, and CPPL to match King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover.
The bold words are the primary strengths I will bring to any relationship.
I hope these stories about the study of Relationship Strategies and the application of Quadrant Philosophy have inspired you to think about your role in meeting others where they are.
To push the boundaries of who we are and to better serve those in our sphere of influence, we must be relentless in applying all four temperaments.
Ask, seek, and knock on doors of opportunity, until you discover a Master to offer their version of the Three-E’s | Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage. Otherwise, you will be left in the dark, with no tools, and a feeling of hopelessness.
Many people are simply trudging through life — enduring each day. Because they are waiting for someone to save them from their earthly troubles. They have been led astray, by wolves in sheep’s clothing, to believe they must wait for the Kingdom of Heaven.
And, that dear Friends, is the importance of little words. There is a world of difference between of and in. Think about it — of denotes “belonging to” and in specifies “location.”
It is impossible for any of the scholarly ministers in their whited sepulchers to show me even one scripture reference to the exact phrase Kingdom in Heaven.
Let’s move around those in our way and claim the treasures promised to us.
A Better Way
Saddle up and ride with me.
The four horsemen of Silverado have shown us what is possible:
A misfit bunch of friends come together to right the injustices which exist in a small town.
My mission is to guide YOU to personal and business success,according to the vision that YOU establish for us.
I coach intensely passionate individuals, who want personal and business success.
That’s my Storyline; start with nothing and Build Something — Special. And — I know, for a fact, we all have a Story to share.
Success is not going to magically waltz into our lives — and, it is not a destination, at which to arrive. Daily, we must create success — the unique version each of us has determined to be right — for the benefit of ourselves and the rest of the universe.
Steps To Success
Stories can inspire you to take a flying leap of faith to make lifestyle changes — or, take action, the concept of which can be encapsulated in a single word: Commitment.
After you’ve decided to go All In — then, baby steps are required to move from Here to There.
If you set expectations about the entire Journey, you will give up before even beginning. So — the Secret is to take one Step at a time. Focus on that one Step and then another becomes visible — and, you will know exactly how to take that Step. And, the next. And, the next…
Go as far as you can See — then, you’ll be able to see farther.
The purpose of this presentation is to shine a light on your Path — and, to offer hope on your Journey.
My energy and efforts are focused on your success. If you are ready for a change, I can help — by gently teasing YOU into considering the power of the Three E’s.
Individually, our worldview is limited by our education, experiences, and resources. My role as A Business Coach is to broaden your horizons with Stories that shine a light on the path you have chosen — so, you can act on your new aspirations.
Beyond the sage talk, I will provide opportunities for you to learn by accomplishment. Teaching is an honorable profession. I will make sure the right tools are in your hands – and, that you have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom to use them properly.
The 5-Step Teaching Model can be described as Explanation, Demonstration, Imitation, Correction, and Repetition. With each and every Step to Success, you will be tempted to quit. Until you run me out of your Life, I will continue to ask that you believe in YOU — the I AM.
People Over Process (POP)
Here’s the secret — always, keep People over Process. Think about it. Process is designed for efficiency. People are created for growth. As soon as an individual grows, the process no longer fits the occasion. The rules must change to reflect the new person.
The ABC’s Of Success
Our minds are designed to think and remember by 3 — in fact, the principle is known as the Magic of Three. The simplest way to maintain focus is to use the magic of these three words — Attitude, Boundaries, and Commitment.
Well defined beliefs and able to communicate effectively.
Able and Willing to go All In — to do whatever IT takes to Succeed.
Begin With YOU
Whatever the mind can Conceive, it can Believe and Achieve. This is about more than “Positive Thinking” — this is about belief in doing the impossible. If YOU have the Want To, you will be able to Do It.
Each of us determines our, individual, definition of Success. Even though success is much more than the accumulation of material riches, money is important. Those who say otherwise will lie about other things, too.
After 35+ years as a CPA, there are many financial principles and secrets that I want to share with YOU.
If you’re an entrepreneur starting a business, my methods can help YOU be successful from day one. If you’ve been in business for several years and are tired of working for nothing, I can listen, observe, and then guide you to the goals important to YOU — and, your Family.
I believe in the wisdom, “Customers only care about how much you know — after they know how much you care.” The purpose of this presentation is to express a high degree of caring — by, sharing the very best with you.
The thoughts that got us into our present situation will not be the thoughts that get us out of it. And — I’m talking about good situations and bad situations.
If all is well in our world, it’s easy to become complacent. Or, in simpler language, we find ourselves in a rut — the definition of which is a grave with the ends kicked out. So, we need to enhance our thoughts to move beyond where we are — to where our passion is pointing.
If all is not well in our world, then, it’s obvious to the whole world — except maybe ourselves — that we’ve engaged in some stinkin’ thinkin’ somewhere in the recent past. So, we need to change our thoughts to move out of the ditch we find ourselves, up to a solid footing and foundation, upon which to Build Something — Special.
We come into this world hard-wired in certain aspects of our worldview. Some babies seem to be, just naturally, happy — others need a little more attention to their self-inflicted dramas.
As a result, I believe our minds come pre-tuned to certain wavelengths — or, channels if you will. Just like in the olden-days when AM radios had a dial for a tuner, slowly, we can move the dial to find a better channel to influence our thoughts.
As a hero of mine quite often said, “For the same reason we shower every morning, our minds need a daily dose of motivational thoughts.”
We are affected by our surroundings and the people in them. Without any thoughts, whatsoever, old beliefs and habits move us through the day. A lot of individuals are on autopilot — they’re not thinking about anything. As a result, Thought Influencers can have their way in the lives of the zombies.
In addition to the 24/7 propaganda from television and social media channels, friends are part of the list of our chosen Thought Influencers. Unconsciously (to us), they can tear us down — or, build us up.
If our life has become cluttered and chaotic, there is a solution — we must be ruthless in taking out the trash.
Change nothing — Nothing changes
There are two ways to change our thoughts: • By do-it-yourself (DIY) Reading. • By asking for compassionate Coaching.
The school of hard knocks is a very effective institution for higher learning. And — it’s true — we can reinvent the wheel every time we want to learn about a new method of transportation for our lives.
On the other hand, why DIY when someone else has, already, whacked their way through the thicket? They can suggest safer routes for YOU.
The last step in the Journey to build sterling Character is to welcome and accept Constructive Feedback.
Constructive Feedback is the other side of the coin from Reinforcing Feedback. We all love the feedback that sings our praises of a job well done, that acknowledges a situation handled nicely, or that recognizes the dent we’re making in the world.
So, those are the two kinds of feedback — between two people with knowledge of facts, situations, and measurable observations.
What about the third kind of feedback — which comes out of the blue from a third wheel, loose cannon, if you will — from someone with a badge that reads, Sidewalk Superintendent?
Opinionated Feedback — (OF)
Tiny, little, powerful, two-letter words — aren’t they something? One of my favorite expressions, “If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me.”
of — to indicate a point of reckoning to indicate origin or derivation to indicate the cause, motive, or reason to indicate the component material, parts, or elements to indicate the whole that includes the part to indicate belonging or a possessive relationship to indicate the relationship between a result and function to indicate something from which a person is delivered to indicate a particular example belonging to a class to indicate apposition to indicate the object of an action to indicate the application of a verb to indicate a characteristic or distinctive quality to indicate the position in time of an action
So — if the last step in the Journey to build sterling Character is to welcome and accept Constructive Feedback, what about the Sainthood effort required to accept Opinionated Feedback?!
And — when I say, “Accept,” I define that as, “Accept it for what it is, glean the kernels of truth, and let the chaff blow away on the winds of fickleness.”
Feedback That Never Was
This story, so far, has been framed around the beneficiary of feedback. But, what about the individual offering the feedback? If you’ve ever been in a role which required formal feedback to be given, you know how difficult it is — To Do.
Now, imagine the poor fellow who is sharing his thoughts with a couple of new friends and is, then, accosted for asking a few simple questions.
Remember the Story about me and the two women — the cute one and the other one? We’ve already discussed how I responded to the challenge from the other one, who asked me to be her Accountability Partner (after, I clearly communicated on a public forum that my partner must be a “brave soul.”)
What is it that YOU want from this email? To point out? To challenge? To encourage the why + what do I want thinking?
For the students of communication theory, all of their mental bells, whistles, and alarms have been triggered. “Email?! Doesn’t he know that only 7% of communication can be accomplished with words?” Yep, I knew it going in — but, that’s my modus operandi — going where even the angels fear to tread.
The cute one is a very successful Life Coach, with a variety of programs that she offers for the benefit of those individuals wanting to expand their horizons, improve levels of accomplishment, and grow into better Citizens. My kind of gal — so, since I was invited to her game (Program), I signed up.
When I zinged my serve over the net, the other one caught the ball to examine it for defects. Life Coach patiently waited through the other one’s challenge of my intent and then offered this.
I value feedback from people I know, I am always looking to improve in my life and my work, and I am also a huge proponent of done being better than perfect. The Program is what it is and serves its purpose for most people. It is not meant to be the answer to everyone’s problems, nor is it meant to be a spiritual based program.
So, I went back and read, again — very slowly — my original email to see if I had used the word Feedback, or made any reference to the Trinity. Nope, not even once.
Communication Is What The Listener Does
Although, in my email, I had asked this question, “What is the passion at the core of everything you do?”
During those 35+ years serving the public as a CPA, I learned to ask this question of every prospective Client. Those who were animated in their response enjoyed working with me. Those with a deer-in-the-headlights response were graciously ushered back to the door from which they came.
So, I fully understand the responses I received from the Life Coach and the other one. One was scared silly because I dared to ask such a question — the Life Coach felt threatened.
For most of my life, I have been overly concerned about everyone’s feelings. Recently, however, the light came on, “Other people’s feelings are beyond my control. Unless, I’m rude, or crude, they have the responsibility to manage their own dang feelings.”
And, it’s true — no one can make us mad, sad, happy, or glad. It’s our individual right and responsibility to create the emotions pleasing to us.
It’s perfectly fine that the Life Coach wants no part in my philosophy, or efforts, to be a Conduit of Goodness.
What Did You Learn?
Because — she did offer this.
You’re kind enough to offer feedback to others, my feedback to you might be to include a bit of framing when you give that feedback so others better understand what your intention and expectation is – especially when they don’t know you well.
As a builder, I know exactly what she’s suggesting. After establishing a solid foundation, framing is the next phase to Build Something — Special. And, with no apologies to the Life Coach, or anyone else, my way of preparing a foundation on bedrock is to ask questions. The one question about “the passion at the core” is the first of ten initial steps to a solid foundation.
In visiting with a long-time loyal friend, on the phone last night, she asked, “So, what did you learn?”
Oh, we laughed! Because — I’ve lost track of the number of verses to this same old song. She gently teased that maybe the time has come for me to learn the lesson. 🙂
Curse of Knowledge
The beauty of Opinionated Feedback is that it comes from an outsider, who is not encumbered by the “Curse of Knowledge.” Reinforcing Feedback and Constructive Feedback happens between two individuals, who know all the “facts.” The outsider is not burdened with any preconceived notions about the Ego, Expectations, or Emotions. They can be honest in offering their opinion.
I did not offer feedback to the Life Coach — I did, however, share my thoughts which were perceived by her to be feedback.
Her feedback to me is spot on correct. I know it, and I’m working on getting better at it. It defined as — stop scaring the living bejeezus out of timid souls, with too much, too soon.
Speed of Belief
I’ve had people suggest that I wear darkened eyeglasses — because my gaze is too intense. It’s true — I’m intensely passionate about my purpose in life. And — I thoroughly enjoy that far-left lane, designated Speed of Belief.
Remember, when we were first learning to drive, how we had to keep staring at all the gauges to make sure our speed was right, the engine had oil pressure, and the coolant was staying cool. Now, we seldom think about it — we glance, every now and then.
Same song, second verse — I’m operating at the Speed of Belief — not by sight, but — by feel. Because of the Curse of Knowledge, I assume (yes, I know, makes an ass out of u and me) everyone else is comfortable with their hair blown back. (As a side-bar, that’s why I wear my hair in a crew-cut.)
What We Learn, Together
Coach John Wooden — in Pyramid of Success — has this encouragement, “What a leader learns after you’ve learned it all counts most of all.“
As a believer in the ASK Principle — Ask, Seek, and Knock — I hope you will help me: Ask, so love can be given; Seek, so wisdom can be found; and, Knock, so doors of opportunity swing wide open.
I’ve noticed that my friends are reluctant to give Feedback of any kind. Yet, my enemies, are eager to bury me in Opinionated Feedback — and, I appreciate it very much.
Your thoughts and comments are always welcome. Please, schedule a time for us to visit in a phone conversation, or a Zoom Meeting, by making an Appointment. (CLICK)
In fact, a problem is simply an opportunity in disguise.
We grow — when confronted with the impossible. It is that defining moment of decision. Many will quit. A few will do what others say can’t be done.
Leaders will accomplish what has never been attempted, before.
Those who do are the leaders among us. Those who talk are not necessarily the followers. Talk is cheap and those who blather, generally, complain about all of their problems. Unknowingly and unwittingly, they are complaining about themselves.
For the entirety of human existence, the accumulation of wealth has been the measure of empires. The Golden Rule has been disenfranchised into a barbaric slogan, “Those who have the Gold make the Rules.”
Rules and regulations do not an Empire make. In fact, Empires come and go — because, their leaders abdicate the responsibility to set an example. We — the People — learn by doing.
Leadership is not a cult-like mission of forcing others into compliance. Leadership is a deep-felt passion of guiding everyone to the best individual choices.
Say what?! Doesn’t a leader, by default, need followers?
For a moment, forget about following and let’s focus on leading. Leaders believe in the power of one. They understand life is best experienced from the inside, out. They are true to themselves, by constantly improving the character at their core.
Leaders make absolutely sure they have much to give. What they offer to the whole wide world is the Three-E Formula to Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage.
We don’t know what we don’t know. Leaders share the best of what they have learned with all who are accepting. The story of their journey is the inspiration for broadened horizons and myriad options of choice. Leaders communicate their saga — and, they color that vision of abundance with broad strokes and vivid detail.
Knowing what to do and doing it are two, entirely, different things. Leaders offer the tools to build something special. We all want and need something different. Leaders are the ultimate teachers through explanation and demonstration, then asking for imitation, offering correction, and expecting repetition.
The best teachers have humbly learned from the School of Hard Knocks. They can share many lessons learned the hard way and know, for an absolute fact, their Students need a few of the same experiences. Leaders patiently wait for new lessons to be learned, all the while supporting that effort.
True leaders always have a following. Hundreds, maybe even many thousands, are watching the silent example of their heroes. Actions speak so much louder than words. A life of sterling character generously offered to others — through consistent choices to build mutually beneficial dynamic relationships — is the legacy of leaders.
The choice is free, for us to make.
The results are priceless, for future generations.
If you think the World is out to get you, you’ll make that come true.
If you believe in making a dent in the World, that’s what you will achieve.
Same YOU and same World. What’s the difference?
Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right. ~ Henry Ford
It all begins with The Want To.
What do “Y-O-U” want?
If you’re ever in need of a conversation starter, just look right into the eyes of another person and ask this question, “What is the passion at the core of everything you do?”
One of two things is guaranteed to happen: Immediate animation, as the person begins to share that passion with you. Or, a deer-in-the-headlights look, with a really long, awkward, pause, as the individual painfully looks for a way to escape.
Escape from what — their own life?! All we want is to understand what makes them tick — that which empowers them to take a licking and keep on ticking.
Can YOU answer the questions, above, quickly, boldly, and confidently?
Recently, I was invited to participate in an open-court event. Rarely do I get invited by a beautiful woman to play games, so, naturally, I accepted. As I showed up to play, there were two women on the other side of the net. So, being a guy, I thought, “Double the fun!”
We volleyed back and forth to warm up. Everything was grins and giggles. Then, it’s time to begin. So, naturally, being a guy, I zinged one over the net.
And, that’s when the ship hit the sand…
What is it that YOU want from this email? To point out? To challenge? To encourage the why + what do I want thinking?
Now, my idea of tennis is, “When the ball comes to you, slap it back over.”
Nope, the beautiful one watched her friend catch the ball, study it for defects, and then cheered her for questioning my “intent” behind the serve.
I thought the idea was for us to have fun and improve our game.
Dumbfounded, I stared at that email wondering, “What the H-E-Double-Toothpicks just happened?” Then, I remembered, “This is just a game. Let’s have some fun with this. So, I grabbed another ball and slapped it on over.
I want nothing — from you. I was “sharing” my thoughts. After clicking Send on the email below, I discovered your recent Upload into our portal, Rohn Guide To Goal Setting. So, I downloaded a Copy, highlighted areas important to me, and uploaded my Copy back into the Portal.
I am pointing out that the theme of Jim is consistent with the diction of Kim.
I am challenging nothing, and nobody, (to a duel, or otherwise). I am stating my beliefs — boldly and confidently.
I am passionately offering my Three-E Formula — Enlighten, Empower, and Encourage — to the whole wide world. You are a beneficiary of that. I know for a fact: Some people will love it — and, others will hate it. That choice is theirs. Either way, I’ll continue to give — my Best.
Because I loved this graphic when I first saw it, I shared it with them, too.
Three Types Of Players
There are those who take up space, rigid as a post, frozen in time, and watch the ball dribble right on by. There are others, like the two above, who catch the ball and stop the fun. And, finally, there are those who are determined to improve — themselves, their game, and the other participants.
There’s another way to state (in reverse) the available Options, above.
1.) Do it right ~ Have fun and slap the ball back over the net. 2.) Do it wrong ~ Catch the ball and examine it for defects. 3.) Do nothing ~ Absolute Void – Mother Nature hates that.
So, you see, my experience with the two women could have been worse.
With time to feel their way through the logic of my response, each of them replied graciously — and, the Game continues.
I say, “Let’s take a flying leap of faith into the future we desire.”
Eyes Wide Open
I was going to say, “Now, close your eyes…” but, wait, don’t do that, not quite yet. Keep reading, first.
When you do close your eyes, imagine the world of your dreams. It’s your dream — paint it your way — in vivid colors for some and in more subtle hues for others. Once the Background is in place, set all of the Things where they belong — and, then, for the most important feature of your dream, invite the People with whom you want to share your life.
Whatever the mind can conceive, it can believe and achieve.
Do you believe?
You conceived it.
If you believe, how can “IT” be achieved?
The secret is to focus on small steps.
Mile by Mile it’s a Trial Yard by Yard it’s Hard Inch by Inch it’s a Cinch
A month ago, I got tired of my Wranglers® being tight. So I made an appointment to visit a Nutritionist. She explained away some long-held mysteries about food and “we” formulated a Plan. My next session with her was scheduled for a month away.
Silly me, for the first three weeks, I cleaned the cupboards of unhealthy food — but, pretty much kept doing what I’ve always done. And, I got the same results that I always have. Purest definition of Insanity, right?
Doing the same things over and over again, expecting a different result.
I thought, “How hard can this be? I’m a smart guy (more thinking). Surely my mind can bend the rules of physics into submission!” Nope, didn’t work. So, I went to Target and bought a Digital Scale.
To manage, we must measure.
So, now, I’m making the pounds come off ounces at a time.
Baby steps, my dear.
For the scholars among us, they have rushed ahead and spoiled my conclusion — because, the Good Book talks about these three — Faith, Hope, and Charity.