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Relationship Cookies In Before Taking Cookies Out

In our daily endeavors, do we put relationship cookies in the jar before expecting to take cookies out? In other words, what do we give before taking? Do we think in terms of finance to realize, we must be able and willing to make an investment before we can receive the dividends?

This is much more than the Quid Pro Quo of, “I’ll do something nice for you, so you’ll do something nice for me.” What I’m talkin’ about is, “I’ll give my best to each encounter with another person, expecting nothing in return.”

Karma is 100% accurate in delivering to each of us exactly what we’ve earned.

Those who contribute little to society and never put a cookie in the Universal jar will receive little in return. Those who go all in to give their best and dump cookies in the laps of everyone will receive abundant rewards.

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Forgive Yourself and Others to Have Peace of Mind

Let go of the notion that there can be a different or better yesterday.

The best definition of forgiveness I’ve heard, “Let go of the notion that there can be a different or better yesterday.” I have memorized this, and when tempted to become bitter toward a life event or recent experience, it is silently repeated until I can forgive, either myself or others.

As a straight-line thinker, High C personality from the DISC Realm, I prefer logic to solve problems. The above definition of forgiveness is quite logical. We cannot go back in time to undo, redo, or otherwise tweak the past. Back To The Future is a fun movie to watch; yet even Marty McFly was surprised with the effects of messing with the Past. It’s history, and it belongs behind us.

There’s a reason automotive manufactures put large windshields in front of us and provide for only an itty-bitty rearview mirror. Seems silly to mention, but we are the safest when looking forward, down the road in front of us, and through that big windshield.

Yes, the rearview mirror is important to remember what we’re leaving behind. And to make sure nothing is sneaking up on us. One other quite functional use is to check the wide-eyed wonder of children on road trips. Oh, and the women are reminding me that it also works to check for any makeup blemishes.

Funny thing, though — as much as I function on logic, warmth and calmness are the emotions when I say either to myself or give voice when sharing with others, “Let go of the notion that there can be a different or better yesterday.”

Now, let’s look at what the Sages of the Ages have to offer as encouragement for us to forgive ourselves and others to have peace of mind.

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Heaven On Earth Is Ours To Create, Now, With Love

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

A little-known secret is that we can enjoy (right here, right now) Heaven on Earth. Pardon the pun, but there is absolutely no earthly reason to forgo the goodness until we’re pushing up daisies.

You’ve heard the axiom, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Oh, how easy it is to know something and how very hard it is to DO IT.

So, the average Joe trudges through this earthly existence not realizing, “We get what we allow.” Like a rat in a maze and the proverbial hamster on a wheel, life for that fellow is an anxious and tiring existence. Surely there’s a better way.

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Shirtsleeves to Shirtsleeves in Three Generations

The progression of wealth begins with a Builder, transferring down to a Janitor, and finally disappearing from the clutches of a Debtor. There is a better way to leave an inheritance for our Children.

One of the greatest burdens on children is the inheritance of wealth. Yes, I know this sounds counterintuitive. Yet, with 35+ years of experience working with three generations of families, I can attest to the validity of the premise.

Each culture has its phraseology:

  • Old English: “there’s nobbut three generations atween a clog and clog.”
  • Italy: “from the stable to the stars and back again.”
  • Japan: “rice paddies to rice paddies in three generations.”
  • China: “from peasant shoes to peasant shoes in three generations.”
  • Scotland: “father buys, son builds, grandchild sells, and his son begs.”
  • America: “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.”

Why is this true? Answer: “We want what we don’t have.

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We Learn By Doing What Others Say Can’t Be Done

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. Until we get our hands in the clay, there is no way a new masterpiece can be formed. All works of creation require effort by able and willing hands.

Colleges and Universities have profited greatly from the most vulnerable: our Children. Higher “education” is big business. Literally, the focus is on the money available to these institutions via student loans. Our young people are encouraged to be Debtors before even beginning their careers and professions.

The result of all this hubris? Answer: educated idiots! We have lost what at one time not long ago was defined as “common sense.” Now, Ignorance is the norm, with a large portion of society working for Cents. Yes, that’s right, slaving — in servitude to a Banker — for pennies on the dollar.

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.

Benjamin Franklin (1706 – 1790)

Those are the choices: Tell, Teach, or Involve. Professors everywhere are coy to assure us they are Teachers. Of all professions, teaching is a noble cause. Yet, the matter at hand is that seldom do we find skilled Teachers in our classrooms.

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I Release YOU Into Your Place of Peace and Goodness

You’ve surely heard the expression, “Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.”

In your Life, right now, does it feel like you’re wrestling with a PIG — of any shape or size? If so, please LET GO of the dang pig!

Climb out of the pigpen, sling the filthy mud from your clothes, remove the memory from your mind, soothe the pain of emotions, purge the stink from your soul, and DECIDE to never, ever, DO that, again. There is a better WAY — to enjoy your Life and all the goodness available to YOU.

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One Good Direction Is Forward Into the Future

You’ve heard the stories of horses saved from burning barns to turn right around and run back into the flaming structures. Why do they do that?

Wouldn’t it make more “horse sense” for them to continue moving far away from the inferno? Maybe, there’s no logic involved. Maybe, we’re creatures of habit. If you’ve enjoyed time around horses, you know each of them has their favorite stall and are quite insistent on it.

Speaking of which, do we use “common sense” when escaping from the Hell of our mistakes? Or do we have a burning desire to go back?

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Dynamic Conversation Is the Secret to Connection

When was the last time you enjoyed a dynamic conversation? The question is sincere — because my recent experiences make me wonder if we’ve lost the art of conversation.

In this Age of Devices, we’re so dang connected we’re disconnected. A text message, here — and an email tome, there — gives the impression we’ve done our duty to communicate.

Oh, I agree; there was a Transmission — but, was there Reception. You know what was Sent. Do you know what was Received? Odds are very good, there’s a chasm between the two. The third leg of communication is Feedback.

Any relationship is between two people. Not, three or more — TWO. For those two individuals to build a relationship, there must be communication. Communication can occur over a variety of channels. The most effective method of communication is a dynamic conversation.

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Living In The Light Cures the Curse of Darkness

To cast dispersion on your valiant effort, a favorite expression of the naysayers is, “Yeah, well every light casts a shadow.” As if YOU living in the light somehow takes away from their enjoyment of the darkness.

A shadow is caused by an obstruction to light. Remove the obstruction and no more shadow. Yet, rather than be a shiner, the naysayer prefers to be a whiner — from the comfortable and darkened recesses of their mind.

Refusing to light a candle, they curse the darkness. Even when others open the door to a better way, they turn away. When encouraged into the brightness of a new path, they angrily respond in wrath. Why?

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The Hero’s Journey Is To Become the Master

The most dangerous place in the world is Comfortable. To receive the rewards waiting for each of us, we must embark on The Hero’s Journey.

This journey is not for the faint of heart. In fact, you might not currently feel like much of a hero. Yet guaranteed, you will emerge from the wilderness a changed and better individual.

Before we begin, let’s consider WHY this is so important.

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