You’ve surely heard the expression, “Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.”
In your Life, right now, does it feel like you’re wrestling with a PIG — of any shape or size? If so, please LET GO of the dang pig!
Climb out of the pigpen, sling the filthy mud from your clothes, remove the memory from your mind, soothe the pain of emotions, purge the stink from your soul, and DECIDE to never, ever DO that, again. There is a better WAY — to enjoy your Life and all the goodness available to YOU.
Final Dose of Nonsense
To have a full appreciation for this Story, I recommend first reading the foundational narrative Vision to Succeed — which happened one year before this most recent dramatic episode. Truth truly is stranger than Fiction.
WHY would I go against my Three-strike Rule to receive one final dose of abuse from a Narcissist? Answer: I needed to pass the Test of observation, analysis, and documentation of the FACT that Narcissists live in an alternative reality.
Lies are their Truth. If the facts are different than the fantasy they imagine, no worries — they simply script a storyline to fit their extravagant EGO. Sad, as it is, they believe the fiction — even, more disgusting is they feed the pablum to their Flying Monkeys and destroy their lives, too.
Put IT In Writing
Known to wear rose-colored eyeglasses — or in the vernacular, being an Eternal Optimist — I WANT to believe the BEST in People. However, that bad belief has come back to haunt me more than once.
From time immemorial, events today are ’bout like they’ve always been. Yet, we have yearnings for individuals to fit into the parameters framed by The Code of the West — where a person’s WORD was their BOND. A handshake, eye-lock, and soul-probe was ALL that was required for a deal to be made and a professional relationship to be established.
The world and our society is yet to become Heaven on Earth. So, please, always, put your important Agreements in writing.
Agreement for Consulting Services
2020-04-09 0629 AM
This agreement is a legal contract between SageTalk, LLC (“SAGETALK”), with its office located at 610 South 44th Street West, Ste 2302, Billings, MT 59106, and
Plumb Fullofit (“YOU” as an Individual)
666 Broad Is The Way
Brimfire, XX 12345
(collectively known as the “Parties”), on this day: April 9, 2020
WHEREAS, SAGETALK is engaged in the business of providing Business Coaching and Consulting Services; and
WHEREAS, YOU desire to engage SAGETALK to provide business services to YOU, including, personalized Business Coaching and Consulting Services;
NOW, THEREFORE, the Parties agree as follows: (CLICK)
Modification to Agreement
2020-05-16 1757 PM
The purpose of this letter is to set forth the issues of DEFAULT and STIPULATIONS of any continued professional relationship with you or your Company.
Originally, YOU desired to engage SAGETALK to provide business services to YOU, including, personalized Business Coaching and Consulting Services.
You, simply, have NOT fulfilled the duties and responsibilities, as they are detailed in our Agreement.
In the way of introduction, I’ll remind you of another squandered opportunity, from one year ago… (CLICK)
Termination Toddler Rant (SageTalk)
2020-05-16 2218 PM
Ignoring my recommendation to sleep on his response for two nights before responding, Plumb Fullofit chose to fire off a NASTY and FALSIFIED account of my efforts on his behalf — and HE fully documented his ignorance and arrogance relative to MY Options.
Math has never been a strong suit for this mental midget. Fancying himself a genius, his three Options for me are really the same thing stated three different ways — continue wrestling with the PIG.
Truth truly is stranger than Fiction — this YOU must read for yourself. Imagine a toddler fist pounding the floor in a grocery store… (CLICK)
Termination Toddler Rant (Gmail)
2020-05-16 2347 PM
Within the span of less than two hours, the toddler, Plumb Fullofit, grew impatient waiting for my response. So, he forwarded his original email to my Personal email account — accompanied by a new Smiley-Face emoticon.
Pure genius! Wouldn’t you say?! Hard to believe, I know… (CLICK)
Generally, there are two types of Feedback between the primary Stakeholders of any engagement: Reinforcing and Adjusting — or Positive and Negative, as some might say.
Because of my desire to GROW, I’m actually open to a third type: Opinionated Feedback. The third-party, know-it-all, sidewalk Superintendents of the world are fond of “giving” their opinions about everything.
Every now and then, a blind squirrel finds a nut. So, I always “listen” intently to their musings, which might contain a nugget of insight — for me.
However, when musings morph into attacks, my patience wears thin. As you might have noticed in the Termination Toddler Rants, there is absolutely NO Documentation or Exhibits, in any form, to support the wild accusations.
Let’s take a quick peek at a few FACTS — before we tear apart the unfounded assertions of Plumb Fullofit.
As a kid, I thoroughly enjoyed the escapades of Sherlock Holmes, the fictional private detective created by British author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Referring to himself as a “consulting detective” in the stories, Holmes is known for his proficiency with observation, deduction, forensic science, and logical reasoning that borders on the fantastic, which he employs when investigating cases for a wide variety of clients, including Scotland Yard.
From the experience with my first Client, beginning December 1, 1981, insight into the lives of Families has been the greatest JOY throughout my 40-year Crusade — to change lives for the better, by Building Bright Dynamic Futures.
These were three of my early observations, as I began my service to Plumb Fullofit and his company, Dime A Dozen, Inc.
- Everything was old-school, including the use of QuickBooks Desktop Premier, with only 5-Licenses — which translates: only 5-Users could be “seated” (using) QuickBooks at any given moment. So, the “problem” WAS people were booted off of a Session to allow someone else to do something.
- Communication was “attempted” through the use of Outlook Emails and Text Messages. Words by themselves are dangerous — because only 7% of effective Communication is possible with words. So, the “problem” WAS nobody exactly understood their Duties, Responsibilities, and Authority.
- Because of poor accounting procedures and utter lack of Company policies, Vendor obligations were Past Due, Employees were Publicly Humiliated, Customers (with legitimate complaints) were threatened with Lawsuits, and Social Media Reviews were cringeworthy. So, the “problem” WAS lack of Leadership.
Novel Solutions to Challenging Problems
Silly me! I fixed the TOP 3 “problems” above, because to me they were simply Opportunities in Disguise.
With enough time, effort, and WORDS, I might be able to give YOU a glimpse into the goodness emanating from the Solutions of: Cloud-based Platforms, Crystal-clear Communication, and Dynamic Leadership.
However, my fingers have grown weary and your eyes tired of the CRAZINESS.
- Solution #1 ~ Implementation of QuickBooks Online Advanced (Financial Hub for Business), TSheets (Time Tracking & Project Management), ChronoBooks (Backup & Restore), and Fathom (Financial Dashboards).
- Solution #2 ~ Implementation of Slack as a PURE Communication Platform and Zoom as the next-best-thing to IN-PERSON Conversations.
- Solution #3 ~ Implementation of a company Value System beginning with Action and ending with LOVE.
Above and Beyond
In addition to transitioning this Company from an old-school Desktop environment to a futuristic, leading-edge, cloud-based, Technology Realm, I also FIXED or encouraged a VERY long list of other changes.
- Elimination of QuickBooks Premier Desktop database fragments (394) down to a more effective and efficient number (4) of remaining fragments, within a goofy, hosted Server environment of (VMware) Virtual Machines. (FYI ~ Reports took several minutes to load, and the ten-key pad could not be used to enter Numbers. Can you imagine the lost TIME in productivity?!)
- Creation, distribution, and signed acknowledgements of Company expectations documented by an Employee Handbook.
- Negotiation with the Vendor, Thryv (Dex) Yellowpages, to eliminate an accrued obligation of $30,641.04.
- Application for — and successful receipt of — an early Paycheck Protection Program loan in the amount of $78,295.15.
- On Call 24/7 for 37 Days (from April 9th through May 16th) to fully answer every Question, engage in every Phone conversation, and host every Zoom session — for both Private and Group training sessions.
When starting this Tome (probably more for MY benefit than YOURS), I struggled in how to remove NAMES to protect the guilty — and, then, what to use in their place.
This whole story is so ABSURD it’s impossible to convey the spectrum of EMOTION with the narrative of LOGIC. Yet, in my frustration, I’ve carried forward a few other “pet” names for Plumb Fullofit.
Equally as fitting are Ding A-Ling and Narcy Supremo.
Break Down to Build Up
If you “wasted” the time to read the Toddler Rants, to terminate my service to Plumb Fullofit and his company, Dime A Dozen, you noticed the FICTION inherent within the Story about me “threatening” Daron and needing to be “physically restrained” from hurting him.
Hilarious! I literally laughed out loud imagining that scenario! Because — it did NOT happen and could NOT happen in many years of Narcissistic fable-making.
For one thing, the 145-pound weakling of Plumb Fullofit would be NO match to my 235 pounds of sheer WILL and DETERMINATION. In fact, as we sat at the Conference Room table that day, Plumb Fullofit sat with his legs crossed “lady-style” while holding his face in his hands, as I shared a few Thoughts.
Becca sat at the head of the table, at my left. Daron sat at the far end of the table on the left side, with Plumb Fullofit across the table from him, to my right. The reason for the Meeting was because Daron had been using and abusing Becca to fetch-and-carry for him.
At the very beginning of my engagement with this outfit, I listened to numerous stories from Becca about her experiences over the last year, with CEO Utterly Clueless in charge of operations.
YES, as a condition of me FIXING what was broken, CEO Utterly Clueless needed to GO away. He had more than a year to implement his Grand Ideas. Yet, the chaos was greater because of his influence than before he was hired in April 2019.
So, I did shepherd the process to receive a signed acknowledgement of his non-performance — a Termination Letter dated April 27, 2020.
The more I listened, the more I was determined to CHANGE something — or DIE making a royal Boy Scout effort — to make her world better. In fact, I was so bold to make the statement to her (in private) that I intended to be her Protector. Then, I asked her to repeat that, in her own words, which she did, “YOU are MY Protector.”
So, on the day of my supposed attack on Daron, I was fulfilling a Promise.
To frame the “loyalty” of Kyle and Daron in the appropriate light, let’s just say, “Kyle was recently hired and started work on April 15th and Daron was recently hired and started work on April 20th.” Neither one has any experience whatsoever with the gyrations of a Small Business — BUT they were (and are) Facebook Buddies of Plumb Fullofit. Go figure?!
Loving Wife or High-Priced Escort
The last two-hour Zoom conversation I had with Becca was mostly to express and to receive her assurance of an understanding that I CARE about and want the very BEST for her.
So — if that is “perverted” in the mind of a Narcissist, then SO BE IT. I will NOT apologize or explain myself any further to the emotional VAMPIRES of the world. Karma is 100% accurate in delivering what we have EACH earned.
I believe Becca has offered more than seven years in service as a Loving Wife — although, according to both of them, there is no “romantic” connection.
In the most gracious way possible, I did ASK her to consider what she might be giving up continuing a relationship with someone who uses and abuses her — as a pimp might do with a High-Priced Escort.
Undeniably, she has been a “kept woman” endowed with an Apartment, Car, Travel, and Money (lots of money). Yet, I believe she has been KEPT from a rich, vibrant, and fulfilling LIFE — because of the PIG in control.
Pearls and Pigs
Many years ago, there was a moment of clarity when I realized and recognized a big FLAW in my character — I cared too much about other People. In fact, many times, I cared more about their LIFE than they did.
Because of my misguided intentions, I would ride in on my white horse, with sword in hand, to slay that ugly, fire-breathing Dragon of theirs, to then be scolded and punished — because, that was their PET Dragon. They loved the fear, intimidation, and trepidation that nasty bugger provided in the RUT of their miserable existence. How dare I “save” them from certain harm?!
As much as I wanted to stuff their response into the Opinionated Feedback category, I had to admit they were the primary Stakeholders in THEIR Life and had every right to THEIR Beliefs.
They were absolutely right. I was throwing my Pearls before the PIGS.
My gifts were not wanted, requested, or appreciated. So, maybe, the time was right for me to STOP — to stop offending those who were content in the mud and muck of their Pigpen.
Yet, one more time, on April 9th, I went into the pen to wrestle with a PIG.
I Release YOU
As our favorite narcissist documented HIS three options for me (ALL of which were for me to continue wrestling the PIG), he neglected to consider I have a much BETTER option. I can and will STOP wrestling with the PIG.
In fact, on May 14th this Video presentation was published by Dr. Les Carter.
I discovered and watched the Video on May 18th. In fact, the words of encouragement were so important to me, I “copied & pasted” the Transcript into a Microsoft Word document — so, I could highlight the MANY Releases mentioned in the Video.
When you’re being intrusive or pushy toward me, I release you. I’ll drop any presumption that you can think and behave like a big boy or a big girl.Dr. Les Carter
You’re released when you cling to your anger, even if it turns abusive, I release you. I’ll set into motion, instead, consequences indicating my unwillingness to be a party to your bullying behavior.
When you speak poorly about my character, I release you. Your opinion serves only you and your broken ego. I get it.
When you refuse to listen to me or even just give me simple courtesy, I release you. I’ll move on to people who have more refined relationship skills.
When you indicate your lack of trust in me, I release you. I don’t need your trust in order to be a good person.
When you presume that I’m supposed to overlook any of your inappropriate attitudes or behaviors, I release you. I won’t compromise my integrity to a person who has low character.
When you give me advice that I don’t need or want, I release you. You’re not someone I look to — or take counsel from — as I plan my life.
When you threaten me or intimidate me, I release you. I’m willing to adjust my life circumstances so I no longer have to filter my life through you.
You owe me so much for your poor treatment of me and I WILL stand upon my boundaries and my stipulations and my convictions — and, yet, you owe me nothing as it relates to my own inner healthiness and peace.
I’m a free person. I’m going to be fully ME — and, YOU are officially released from any requirement to help me find my way into a life of serenity.
I release YOU.
The Beginning of a New Ending
Regardless of our PAST, we can ALWAYS begin to write a new “ending” for our LIFE — as we want it to be into the FUTURE. Usually, I can construct a clever conclusion to these articles — BUT, this time, the fellow who uses DRC as a Tagline (Dignity, Respect, and Civility) — Dr. “C” — has the last word for OUR new Beginning.
When we say I release you to the narcissist, we’re also saying I release me to become the person that I need to be — and, that being the case, I’m hoping that you release yourself into your place of peace and goodness.
I hope that you’re released into being an individual who knows and lives the essence of LOVE.