Recently, I was reminded of the importance of Communication and Respect by a dance instructor. “As a leader, you must set the tone by your posture and frame. Your partner must feel safe in your presence.”
In other words, I must come to the dance floor sure of who I am — and willing to extend an invitation to someone sure of who she is. Otherwise, a wreck is guaranteed — toes will be stepped upon and feelings will be hurt.
As with so many facets of life, respect begins with each of us, individually. Self-respect is how we treat ourselves. Is our attitude pleasant? Do we live by a Code? What is the passion at the core of every thought and action?
Until we have definitive answers, we’re dangerous — to ourselves and others. How can we expect others to accept our invitations to dance, unless they feel safe in the experience?
We must clearly define and communicate our intent. Otherwise it is futile and, even, dangerous to ask for a relationship. Our individual commitment to a course of action is necessary before others can make their decisions.
At the Border
Respect is only possible with clearly defined boundaries. The sovereignty of a country is defined by its border. As individuals, we are citizens of one.
Self-respect is everything that goes on within our boundaries. Respect for others occurs at the border and according to mutually acceptable customs.
Profitable interactions occur through doors of opportunity that swing on the hinges of “No, thanks.” and “Yes, please!”
Moats and Sieves
Because of unresolved hurts from the past, some people live inside fortress walls. Nobody and nothing gets through to them. As a result, those types of individuals are stagnant — because, they are all bottled up with their bad beliefs and imagined fears.
On the other extreme of the spectrum are those people who let absolutely everybody and everything pass through. Since they are unsure of who they are, those types of individuals are chameleons.
There is a better way: Boundaries with access. Seems so simple, doesn’t it?
The Better Way
The secret to success in any relationship is to Begin With YOU. Clearly define who you are, what you want, and why you think as you do. Because all we do begins with a thought.
Those thoughts become actions, actions become habits, habits define our character, and character eventually manifests itself in destiny. Karma is 100% accurate in the delivery of what is earned.
As we take the Journey to transform a Thought into Destiny, we will meet many People along the way. Since birds of a feather do flock together, we will attract like-minded individuals.
And, because everyone wants to associate with a winner, YOU will also attract false friends and true enemies. Profitable interactions occur through doors of opportunity that swing on the hinges of “No, thanks.” and “Yes, please!”
Guardian at The Gate
You are the knight with a two-edged sword deciding who is welcome into your mind and Kingdom. If they enlighten, empower, and encourage YOU, let them in. However, if they darken, weaken, and discourage YOU, turn them away.
Your world is what you make of it — if it is infested with chaos, make changes. Change nothing; Nothing changes. If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.
The surest way to make changes, is to focus on respect of yourself and, then, of others. With well-defined boundaries, YOU are ready to communicate your intent to the whole wide world.
Key to Communication
Communication is what the listener does. Why should we listen? How well do we listen? What is in it for us?
The most surprising thing of all is that once you define yourself and clearly broadcast your intent, others will want to dance with you. The world aches for leaders who will provide opportunities for others.
Individuals able and willing to give and receive Communication and Respect will join hands in an embrace with a partner to waltz into heaven on earth.